Autism, creativity and integration of self

This morning, I was stumped. I had no idea what to write about.  I asked a friend, who suggested I write about autism and creativity. I had a couple of moments of introspection and thought,  along these lines.

I don’t know what my autistic creativity is.

Then the thought.As I said, I don

Yes, you do. You’ve been autistic your whole life,  so every creative thought you’ve had or done has been your autistic creativity.

Well, damn,  mike drop for the inner voice again..

I have a number of regular passengers who are autistic,  and their creativity,  around their special interests,  is amazing.

The teenager focussed on game design.

The teenager focussed on music production.

The young woman writing parodies of songs with a theme of Australia and conservation.

But me, and my creativity? Remember, I’m (now) 52 years old, and discovered my autism late last year. And all my life, I have never thought of myself as creative. Yet, I write, I cook,  I have gardened, and I crochet, among other things. While I was unknowingly autistic.

My writing? All my life. I won my first writing competition at the local eisteddfod, when I was 7. It was a story about a lizard who had lost his tail.

My cooking? All my life, from my first three-course meal when I was 8, to so many lunch and dinner parties, to now, in my meal prepping, where I am combatting of regression after autistic burnout. This meal prepping is creating tasty, budget friendly meals for my breakfasts and lunches. I’m looking at recipes and taking inspiration from them, creating meals tailored to me, my allergies and my budget.

Breakfasts such as frittata, omelette wraps, LSA bread with almond spread and sliced bananas, oat bakes with berries and chocolate, apple and cinnamon fritters, a baked rice pudding. Lunches such as chicken and loaded coleslaw, lentil and sweet potato salad, green salad with meatballs, green salad with crocodile, a dhal-like “hail mary”, pumpkin and salmon pasta bake. All for less than $4 per serve, using what I have in my pantry and freezer, like the crocodile meat. That got an overnight marinade in yoghurt mixed with my hot spice mix, with the heat coming from mustard and ginger, and a slow, low roast. My nightshade allergy rules out potatoes, tomatoes, chilli, and capsicum (peppers).

My gardening? Lost to depression and what I now know to be autistic burnout from a few years ago. But, oh, the gardens. Vegetables and flowers, all mixed in with companion planting. Heritage yellow tomatoes and luscious San Marzano (roma) tomatoes, not trellised but lying,  lazy, on a bed of oregano, with chives, allyssum and marigolds in and around, given afternoon shade by a towering blue plumbago.

Sweet potatoes grown in a big bin, with the first monster weighing in at 1.2kgs. Pineapples, grown from a crown, such a beautiful, strappy, architectural plant during its slow growth.

Lettuces and rocket (arugula), salad greens, coriander (cilantro), beans, peas and sweet peas, aloe vera, and herbs – parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme… and lavender, curry plant, marjoram, lemon verbena, lemon balm, and so much more. I collected thyme, sage and mint varieties. Have you ever tasted a lemon thyme,a pineapple sage or an apple mint? And my beloved, and sorely missed, dwarf alstroemeria, and my miniature roses.

Oh, my roses. Dead from my depressed neglect. The miniature Black Jade, such a deep, luscious red. The miniature Irrestible, creamy white with a faint clove scent. The miniature Little Sunset, a harlequin of pinks, reds and yellows. The miniature Moon River, delicate pink with a vivacious, outrageous scent for its size. Beautiful little roses with a flower head the size of a 50c piece.

Their empty, barren pots and planters reproach me, every day.

With a creative hat on, and tried and true techniques, the food scraps from my meal prepping go into brown paper bags, what I think of as “compost bags”. These get buried at the bottom of a plant pot, then the soil is replenished with supplements of dried, matured manure, trace elements, blood and bone, powdered eggshells, and Seamungus, an organic pellet fertiliser. By the time these pots have matured soil that won’t burn delicate little roots, I’ll have a newfangled Bluetooth connected water timer tap, and little irrigation lines run to those pots, and then it’s time for planting.

Alyssum and coriander, to bring the pollinators. Wormwood, to keep the possums away. Chard and kale, in the right season, for folate, perpetual spinach, radish, salad greens, parsley, mint, nasturtiums, spring onions. All in pots on the kitchen verandah.

The bins, then, to be rejuvenated, for sweet potatoes.

Then there also the big raised cyprus planter boxes, 600mm  x 600mm – four of them. Once rejuvenated, maybe another pineapple, maybe an aloe vera, maybe a wildflower seed mix. These are exposed to full sun, so these plants must be very hardy, and well catered.

That’s my plan, the creation of my new garden, food and flowers.

And all planned in a spreadsheet, of course. This is my autism. Plant, weeks to harvest,  aerial plants and root plants alternating season by season, what’s in which pot with what companion plants, watering needs, nutrition needs.

Autistic creativity takes many forms.

What does your creativity look like?

Meal plans,  budget eats and executive function

Last week was week 10 of meal planning and prepping. This is achieving my goals of reigniting my love of cooking,  overcoming autistic executive function issues and eating better.

On the menu last week was apple fritters with coconut yoghurt for breakfast,  and a version of a Cobb salad for lunch.   The bill from Aldi was $31.70, and those purchases, along with what I had in the pantry and freezer,  yielded six lunches and 6 breakfasts.

This version of a Cobb had cos (romaine) lettuce, boiled eggs,  roasted pumpkin, avocado, feta, bacon, and marinated crocodile meat. Why modify the classic Cobb salad? Because of food sensitivities – the roasted pumpkin replaced the tomato. Because of economies – the crocodile meat was in the freezer. Because of preference – I don’t like blue cheese as the  texture is a sensory issue, so feta was a good,  sharp,  substitute.

Apple fritters, or apple pancakes, if you like, weree made using a bought pancake mix,  gluten free, 4 Granny Smith apples, grated, 280ml water,  1/2 cup of rice flour,  an egg and vanilla paste.  It made 18 pancakes – three got eaten as quality control… they weren’t perfect, but they were good enough for me. Two pancakes plus two spoons of coconut yoghurt made a perfect breakfast.

So what do I have planned for week 11?

A breakfast oat bake with berries, and a “super” coconut yoghurt.  “Super” coconut yoghurt is a vanilla  yoghurt with enough vegan chocolate protein powder in it to make it thick like a  chocolate mousse.

Lunches this week will be premade coleslaw, from a bag that says 5 serves.  To that,  I’ll add chicken,  apples, onions, avocado and sultanas. Diced chicken thigh fillets marinated in a honey soy sauce should provide a pop of flavour,  and extend the coleslaw beyond 5 serves. 

And all for $40.39, plus what’s in the pantry and freezer.

For the coleslaw dressing… from the freezer,  a cauliflower “mayonnaise” I made,  mixed with some left over blue cheese dressing from last week.

What’s cauliflower “mayonnaise”? A cauliflower head,  chopped and cooked in the pressure cooker,  then blitzed in the food processor with a little bit of coconut yoghurt,  honey, and mustard powder, and a little water to get to the right consistency. It made very big batch,  so I froze what I didn’t need.

For snacks,  I’ll pack cheese and rice crackers,  and grapes or  a plum. It’s late in the season for plums,  but they are still so good to eat.

So here’s to being autistic, using your autistic strengths to overcome autistic deficits and cheap, nutritious meals.

Budget eating

Yes,  times are tight and money needs to work hard. When you are working with autistic burnout,  skill regression and executive dysfunction, it’s challenging. Learning to cook for myself,  with pleasure,  is a new self-care activity. I have always loved cooking, but the cooking I did for other people was masking and coping – if I cook wonderful food for these people, they will love me. So, I’m relearning to cook for myself, and get that same pleasure from self care.

This week, my meal prep for breakfast and lunch is a little more labour and time intensive. With some fresh groceries and ingredients I have in the pantry, breakfast is $5.06 per serve and lunch $3.75 per serve.

What’s on the menu for these meals,  that I’m prepping today?

Sweet potato salad: roasted sweet potato, pumpkin and carrots, with tuna, lentils and spring onions, and a dressing made with cottage cheese, honey, beetroot hummus and balsamic vinegar.

Breakfast pita breads: eggs mashed and boiled and mixed with spring onions, and goat cheese, with rocket, in pita bread.

I drive rideshare for a living, and I take a well-filled tuckerbag with breakfast, lunch and snacks, water and coffee. So breakfast and lunch need to portable, and a good sized insulated tuckerbag is perfect.

This week, then, this is the menu:

  • Breakfast pitas
  • Cheese and crackers with sliced apples
  • Sweet potato salad
  • Almonds and cashews
  • Cacao protein bliss balls