Tag: love

“A reason, a season, or life”

Warning – trigger topics.

As a rideshare driver, I meet and chat with a lot of people. Some of those interactions are light hearted, some are deep and meaningful.

One drive from today will stick in my mind for a long time. I picked up a lovely, elderly English lady, and during our 20 minute drive, I was reminded of why I need to write that book.

As a society our awareness and knowledge of palliative care, terminal care, death and grief is, well, low. If there was an exam, very few would pass.

Palliative care focuses on improving the quality of life for individuals with serious illnesses, providing relief from symptoms and stress, and should wrap around not just the patient but their family, as well.

Terminal care, on the other hand, is specifically geared towards those in the final stages of a terminal illness, often involving end-of-life decisions and support. In the case of degenerative or chronic disorders, terminal care can be considered a subset of palliative care, tailored to the unique needs of individuals nearing the end of life.

Yet, terminal care also comes into play for critical events, such as a car accident, where a victim’s injuries are multiple and life threatening so as to be inoperable or untreatable.

Palliative care determines quality of life. Did you know that that broadly speaking, death is not necessarily the last breath, but starts well before, in social death, psychological death, biological death then physiological death? Palliative care is about alleviating and ameliorating social and psychological death.

Terminal care determines quality of death. It is the care of the final hours or days.

Death is the cessation of life, the end of “we”, and the start of “me”.

Grief is before and after death, and will become part of your life, a garment you put on, but will never take of, no matter how expensive the dress or elegant the suit. Grief is the mirror twin of love; without love, there is no grief. Grief may be a measure of the depth of your love.

Someone was looking after that elderly lady, soon to be widow, to put her in my car, and my care for 20 minutes today.

Amor’s Challenge

by Lee-Anne Ford

Well, hell, what have I got myself into this time? Being the wild child hippie chick is downright hazardous to my health sometimes!

I looked around, taking a moment to catch my breath after that wild slide down… a hollow tree. Honestly, I thought the little girl I had been playing chess with was leading me into a cubby hole, but this is more like Alice in Wonderland. Hollow tree, rabbit hole, not quite the same, but… where has she gone?

“Charlie,” I say to myself. “Let’s do a quick reality check. No girl, no park, just me, and this… place.” Now, I’ve done some crazy, chemically assisted trips, but this is beyond what I’ve ever seen.

From the ground up, there’s the obligatory smoky mist drifting across the ground. It’s there, but I can’t feel it. The trees look like they are hanging upside-down, until I realise that I am looking up at their roots. Across the grey, misty landscape, there is a shiny thing in the distance. I’m just too far away to make out what it is.

I start walking, hoping my favourite navy boots can cope with whatever the ground is under the mist.

In the typical way of dreams and trips, the distance elongates and shrinks, changing with my thoughts. Happy thoughts, shorter distance. Angry thoughts, farther to go. There’s my plan. Think happy, get to that shiny thing, and get out of here.

I jump as a figure appears at my right. My God, is it? No, it can’t be! “Bobby?”

My childhood companion, my childhood love, my Scottish terrier, Bobby Bingo. He’s as tall as me, and he speaks!

“Hello, Charlie.”

“Hello, Bobby.”

“You’re not meant to be here, Charlie.”

“Well, I fell down a tree.”

“Aah, woof, that’s not good.”

“I know, Bobby. Can you help me?”

“Of course, Charlie, of course.”

“Bobby, I’m so sorry about your death. I couldn’t do anything!”

“It’s alright, Charlie. It was written, and so it was.”

Hmph. Predestination, that doesn’t care about a broken teenage girl’s heart.

“You’re on the right path.”

“Huh?”

“You’re heading towards the white gate.”

“Oh, it’s a gate?”

“Yes, Charlie. You need to solve the riddle to open the gate, then wish yourself where you want to be.”

“Well, that’s original.”

“All myths and legends have something real as their genesis, Charlie.”

“Are you happy, Bobby?”

“Yes, Charlie. Here, I am as big as I imagined myself to be in your world. Mum and Dad visit sometimes, and – “

“Wait, what? Piper and Fife are here, too?”

“Yes, but you don’t need to see them now. And look, here you are.” With that, he fades from view. I bite my lip at somehow losing him again, the fiercely stubborn Scottie I had loved so much as a child.

I look up, and the gate is in front of me.

“Okay, where’s the riddle?”

A tablet floats up. I take a deep breath and peer at it, at the shifting, misty surface, which is just like the landscape. I see… Latin declensions for amor:

 Singular
Nominativeamor
Genitive 
Dative 
Accusative 
Ablative 
Vocative 

I sift through my memories of the Latin course. “Amor, amoris, amori, amorem, amore, amor.” As I say each word, it appears on the tablet, and the gate swings open.

I step through, into a thing that looks like – a wormhole? “So, I need to wish myself where I want to be. Where do I want to be?” I close my eyes, and make a wish, my heart aching for the innocent child who had loved her dog so much.

I feel a jolt and open my eyes. What? I’m back in the park, at the chessboards, sitting opposite that other little girl.

The little girl giggles. “You needed to be reminded about love. You’re ready now.”

What?