When your default is being strong and resilient because there ain’t no-one else to do it, being seen is humbling. It can bring you to your knees. It can bring forth tears.
Being seen is powerful. It’s validating.
When did we stop seeing each other? When did it become easier to do surface skims? When did “How are you?” become a glib greeting instead of a heartfelt enquiry about your well-being today?
There seems to be a swathe of content creators asking questions about “if x was possible, what would you do/say/wish for?” My universal response is “be kind”. Just be kind. Just care about the person next to you, in front of you.
Twice, today, I’ve been behind cars where the driver didn’t know which way to go. Those drivers don’t need to be yelled at. They need kindness.
Kindness. It’s free. It’s being compassionate. It’s giving a damn. It doesn’t cost a thing, and might even be good for you.
But you know the part of kindness that is hard? When it applies to yourself.
Our inner voice can be a help and a hindrance, all in the same second. The boffins who know say that every healthy, working brain has an inner voice. There are boffins working on giving generative AI an inner voice!
What does your inner voice say to you?
Mine used to be nasty, and judgemental, and vicious. It’s settled down now, since I discovered my autism. It’s actually helpful.
It’s meant to be helpful. It’s thought to develop after we progress to external speech. I’ve been told that young children will narrate what they are doing. That vocalisation will eventually become internal, et voila, you have your inner monologue.
So, check in with your inner voice. And work with it, and tell yourself that you are seen, you are here, and you are enough.
We’re all navigating our own paths, sometimes blindly, sometimes with clarity. In those moments when you falter, when your inner critic gets loud, remember that being kind to yourself is revolutionary. It’s a radical act of self-care in a world that often expects perfection.
When you extend kindness to yourself, you begin to see the world with more compassionate eyes. You start to understand that everyone is fighting their own battles, many of which are unseen.
So, let’s start seeing each other again. Let’s ask “How are you?” and really mean it. Let’s offer a smile, a kind word, a moment of our time. These small acts of kindness can bridge the gaps between us, making us feel less alone and more connected.
Because being seen is more than being noticed. It’s being understood, appreciated, and valued. And that’s something we all need, every single day.
Resources
All in the Mind podcast, “Controlling the chatter in your head“.
All in the Mind podcast, “What influences your inner voice? Controlling chatter, part two”.
Nightlife podcast with Hugh Mackay: The Kindness Revolution.
The Minefield podcast, “An eye that cannot weep – what does compassion demand of us?”.
What inspired this blog post? A post on Instagram. Minimalist white sans serif text on a black swathe. Those words say:
I dream of never been called
resilient again in my life.
I’m exhausted by strength.
I want support.
I want softness.
I want ease.
I want to be amongst kin.
Not patted on the back
for how well I took a hit.
Or for how many.
The Auld Skald's Fudgel 