Rugby League as the “toughest game in the world”?

I don’t think so.

I have an almost pathological hatred of rugby league, or as I call, it “thugby”leage. Some of this comes from childhood, and the arguments and silent, cold fronts with mother. She liked to go to watch the local rugby league games at Eskdale Park on a Sunday. I could think of nothing worse.

Attendance at these regional games in the 1970s and 1980s was from a small wooden grandstand, riddled with splinters, or from the back of a car, perched in the boot or in the back of a ute. Irregular shouts to mates, sons, brothers or fathers on the field, to the mixed shouts of joyous victory or loud objection when a try was scored or converted. No rhyme, no rhythm. Imagine, for an undiagnosed autistic girl, forced into this mix, To me, that the bookish, undiagnosed autistic girl, barbarous and without reason, wa san unjustifiable assault on my senses.

Many of my blog posts are triggered by something in the news, a conversation, something topical. If you follow the NRL (National Rugby League), you may know that Round 1 of the 2025 season was held in Las Vegas. You may also have heard Peter V’landy’s invitation to President Trump to attend this opening round of the 2025 season.

In this invitation, V’landy’s proclaimed that rugby league as the toughest game on Earth, the most brutal. Now, with my antipathy towards rugby league, and my autistic sense of justice, I “arced up”. Because I read, a lot, I knew of some other tough, brutal games that I think would be rugby league to shame. So, I had a chat with ChatGPT and asked for a blog post.

Now, something you may not know about ChatGPT is that you can moderate the tone of its response, by giving it the instruction to “write this to 0.1″”, where 0.1 is conservative and 0.9 is absurd. With mischievous intent, I asked ChatGPT to write me that blog post, challenging the notion that rugby league is the toughest, most brutal game on Earth. First, I asked for a 0.7 response. Then I asked it for a 0.1 response. And finally, I asked it for a 0.9 response. I lay these out here, for your consumption, and a firm takedown of rugby league as the toughest, most brutal game on the planet.

As always, you are welcome to view the full transcript of the chat with ChatGPT here.

The 0.1 response

Tough as Leather: A Measured Examination of Rugby League’s Claim to Be the Toughest Sport on Earth

The National Rugby League (NRL) promotes rugby league as the toughest sport on the planet. It’s an impressive claim, one that deserves careful scrutiny. What does “tough” truly mean?

Tough (adj.):

  1. Able to withstand hardship, strain, or difficulty.
  2. Resilient, durable, and unyielding.
  3. As tough as leather—strong, but with variations in thickness and flexibility depending on how it has been treated.

With this definition in mind, we must assess whether rugby league stands alone as the world’s toughest sport or whether other contenders surpass it in physical and mental demands.

Comparing Rugby League to Other Demanding Sports

1. Jai Alai: The Fastest Ball Sport on Earth

Jai alai involves players using curved baskets (cestas) to launch a hard rubber ball (pelota) at speeds exceeding 300 km/h. The walls of the court create unpredictable ricochets, and missed calculations can result in serious injuries. The pelota has been described as having the density of a pool cue ball, meaning any direct impact can cause fractures or concussions.

Rugby league requires endurance and contact resilience, but it does not subject players to the risk of a high-speed projectile breaking bones mid-game.

Edge: Jai Alai

2. Kabaddi: Strength, Strategy, and Oxygen Deprivation

Kabaddi is a team sport in which a “raider” must cross into the opposing team’s half, tag defenders, and return—all while holding their breath. Defenders attempt to stop the raider using grappling techniques, often leading to intense physical struggles. Success depends on strength, agility, and the ability to control oxygen intake under pressure.

Rugby league involves sprinting, tackling, and endurance, but players do not have to engage in controlled asphyxiation as part of their strategy.

Edge: Kabaddi

3. Buzkashi: Rugby on Horseback with a Dead Goat

Buzkashi is a traditional Central Asian sport in which mounted players compete to gain control of a headless goat carcass and carry it to a goal. The game is often played with minimal rules, and riders frequently collide, fall, or engage in physical confrontations. Injuries range from broken bones to trampling.

Rugby league is a high-contact sport, but it does not involve horseback collisions or the additional hazards of an uncontrolled playing surface.

Edge: Buzkashi

4. Calcio Storico: A Hybrid of Football and Bare-Knuckle Fighting

Calcio storico, played in Florence, combines football, wrestling, and unregulated physical combat. Players attempt to score by throwing a ball into a goal, but they can punch, kick, and tackle opponents without penalty. The result is a game that often leaves participants with broken noses, fractured ribs, and other serious injuries.

Rugby league has a strong tackling component and occasional fights, but it remains structured within a formal rule set that limits open combat.

Edge: Calcio Storico

5. Inuit Knuckle Hop: A Pure Test of Pain Endurance

Inuit knuckle hop is a competition where participants move forward across a hard surface using only their fists and toes. The goal is to continue for as long as possible, enduring extreme pain and potential nerve damage.

Rugby league players frequently play through injuries, but the sport does not include a dedicated element of self-inflicted pain as a competitive measure.

Edge: Knuckle Hop

Conclusion: How Tough is Rugby League?

Rugby league is undoubtedly a physically demanding sport. It requires endurance, strength, resilience, and the ability to withstand repeated impacts. Players often continue playing despite injuries, and the sport fosters a strong culture of toughness.

However, when compared to other extreme sports that involve higher risks of serious injury, death, or extreme pain endurance, rugby league does not singularly stand as the toughest sport on earth. It is one of the toughest, but there are several sports that present even greater physical and mental challenges.

The claim that rugby league is the toughest sport is, therefore, subjective—true within its own context but not when measured against the full spectrum of physically extreme global sports.


The 0.7 response

Tough as Leather: A Deeply Serious Analysis of Rugby League’s Claim to Be the Toughest Sport on Earth

The National Rugby League (NRL) boldly claims that rugby league is the toughest game on the planet. It’s a grand assertion, one that invites scrutiny, much like a drunken prop forward charging into a defensive line of well-rested opposition. But before we entertain such a lofty claim, let us first define “tough.”

Tough (adj.):

  1. Strong enough to withstand adverse conditions or rough handling.
  2. Demonstrating a capacity for endurance, hardship, or pain.
  3. Resilient, unyielding, and—most critically—as tough as leather.

Now, leather is an interesting benchmark for toughness. It is durable, yes. It can take a beating, certainly. It is used in everything from footballs to whips to ancient forms of body armour. But the degree of toughness depends on the leather. Is rugby league full-grain leather, thick and weathered, ready to saddle a cowboy? Or is it a delicate designer handbag, expensive but easily scuffed if someone so much as sneezes on it?

The Leather-Tough Gauntlet: Rugby League vs. the Rest of the World

Let’s examine whether rugby league deserves this “toughest sport” title when put up against some of the most brutal, skin-flaying, organ-rearranging pastimes in the world.

1. Jai Alai: The Sport of Death and High-Speed Projectiles

Jai alai is an innocent-looking game if you’re legally blind. Players wield curved baskets called cestas to hurl a rock-hard ball at speeds exceeding 300 km/h. The court is essentially a giant ricochet chamber, where one misstep results in a ball to the face with the impact force of a car crash. Concussions are not just common; they are a baseline expectation.

Rugby league is indeed rough, but players generally do not die mid-match from a game-related object fracturing their skull at Formula One speeds.

Advantage: Jai Alai

2. Kabaddi: Full-Contact Breath-Holding Combat

Kabaddi is rugby league’s feral cousin, but with an added level of oxygen deprivation that makes it as much a test of lung capacity as of brute strength. Imagine a game where a player must invade enemy territory, wrestle multiple defenders to the ground, and then escape—all while holding their breath. In essence, it’s an asthma attack combined with a pub brawl.

While rugby league does feature big hits and endurance, players can at least breathe while tackling.

Advantage: Kabaddi

3. Buzkashi: Rugby, but on Horses, with a Dead Goat

Rugby league players fancy themselves tough for surviving head-high tackles and being driven into the turf by men built like refrigerators. That’s cute. In buzkashi, Central Asian warriors ride galloping horses while battling over a headless goat carcass, using their fists, whips, and sheer force of will outmanoeuvre each other. Limbs are broken. Players are trampled. The only rule seems to be, “Survive.”

Rugby league is many things, but it lacks the medieval battlefield aesthetic of buzkashi.

Advantage: Buzkashi

4. Calcio Storico: Florence’s Renaissance Thunderdome

The Italians—known for their artistry, cuisine, and Renaissance achievements—also invented calcio storico, a game where 27 men per team engage in a lawless hybrid of football, wrestling, and outright street fighting. The goal is to get a ball into a net, but since there are no substitutions and no limits on full-force punches, kicks, and chokeholds, the game frequently looks like an MMA brawl staged inside a soccer field.

Compared to calcio storico, rugby league might as well be a gentleman’s afternoon of croquet.

Advantage: Calcio Storico

5. Inuit Knuckle Hop: The Pain Olympics

The knuckle hop is a sport in which competitors drop to their hands and toes and attempt to move forward across hard surfaces—ice, gym floors, whatever’s available—on their knuckles. The aim? Endure pain longer than the other competitors. This is not a team sport; it is an existential test of whether you truly deserve to remain conscious.

NRL players are known to complain about bruised ribs and corked thighs. Inuit knuckle hop participants scoff in the face of nerve damage.

Advantage: Knuckle Hop

The Verdict: Is Rugby League Actually the Toughest Sport?

If rugby league is “tough as leather”, then these other sports are tough as the rawhide used to make boots for gladiators. Yes, rugby league is a brutal game. Players collide like meteorites, their ears end up looking like scrunched-up receipts, and they routinely soldier on through injuries that would send most people into early retirement. But does it hold the global title for sheer, unrelenting toughness?

No.

Not when there are sports where people get knocked unconscious by high-speed balls, endure prolonged asphyxiation, risk horse trampling, participate in sanctioned brawls, or deliberately flay their own knuckles against frozen landscapes.

So, dear NRL, we appreciate your bravado. But if you want to claim the title of the toughest sport on Earth, you might need to add a few dead goats, some high-speed projectiles, and a no-holds-barred street fight to the mix. Otherwise, let’s just agree that you’re pretty tough—but not quite goat-trampling, oxygen-deprived, face-shattering tough.


And the 0.9 response (I nearly came undone laughing)

Tough as Leather and Twice as Dumb: The Great Rugby League Delusion

The National Rugby League (NRL) proudly proclaims that rugby league is the toughest sport on the planet. A bold claim. A grand claim. A claim so absurd that it deserves to be examined under a microscope, dissected with surgical precision, and then launched into the sun for the sheer audacity of its delusion.

But before we obliterate this claim with the force of a front-rower colliding with an unmarked goalpost, let’s define our key term.

What Does “Tough” Even Mean?

Tough (adj.):

  1. Physically resilient—able to take repeated impacts without shattering into a million pieces.
  2. Mentally unyielding—able to withstand hardship, pain, and existential horror.
  3. As tough as leather—specifically, the kind of leather used to make medieval war saddles, not the flimsy designer wallet that falls apart when you accidentally leave it in your pocket during a rainstorm.

Now, rugby league players are undeniably tough, in the same way that a brick wall is tough—it absorbs a lot of impact, but eventually, it crumbles, usually in spectacular fashion. They throw themselves into tackles with reckless abandon, bounce off the turf like crash test dummies, and then slap each other on the back as if their spines haven’t just lost two inches in height.

But is rugby league the toughest sport? Let’s take a scenic tour through the world’s actual toughest sports and see how it stacks up.


1. Jai Alai: A Game So Dangerous It Was Literally Outlawed in Some Places

Imagine tennis, but instead of a fuzzy green ball, the players are hurling a rock-hard projectile at 300 km/h. Now, imagine playing that game inside a closed court where the ball bounces unpredictably, ricocheting off walls like a deranged poltergeist. This is jai alai, a sport so unforgiving that players have died from ball impact alone.

By contrast, rugby league players wear mouthguards and get medical stoppages when they tweak a hamstring.

Advantage: Jai Alai


2. Kabaddi: The Full-Contact Sport Where Breathing Is a Luxury

Rugby league requires endurance, but you know what else requires endurance? Holding your breath while being tackled by multiple opponents.

Kabaddi is a sport where players must invade enemy territory, tag an opponent, and escape—all while exhaling in one continuous breath. If they inhale? Instant disqualification. If they fail to escape? Good luck, because they’re about to be buried alive under a pile of extremely motivated human beings.

Rugby league players take a water break every few minutes.

Advantage: Kabaddi


3. Buzkashi: Rugby League, but on Horses, and with a Corpse

Rugby league players think they’re tough because they play in rain, mud, and the occasional heatwave. Meanwhile, buzkashi players are charging across open fields on horseback, engaging in a full-contact brawl to control the carcass of a headless goat.

Think about that for a moment. These men are playing a game where the ball is a decapitated, skinned, 20-kilogram goat corpse, and they must wrestle for control of it while avoiding being trampled by their own teammates.

Meanwhile, rugby league referees call a penalty if someone’s hand slightly brushes another player’s face.

Advantage: Buzkashi


4. Calcio Storico: When You Mix Football with Medieval War

Calcio storico is played in Florence, where 27 men per team take to the field. The goal? Score by throwing a ball into the opponent’s net. The secondary goal? Inflict maximum bodily harm.

The rules allow—nay, encourage—punching, kicking, headbutting, and choking. If you are knocked unconscious? Too bad. No substitutions. No stoppages. Get up or get left behind.

Rugby league players complain about high tackles. Calcio storico players wake up in hospital and call that a successful game.

Advantage: Calcio Storico


5. The Inuit Knuckle Hop: Where Pain Is the Only Measure of Success

The knuckle hop is exactly what it sounds like. Competitors drop to their fists and toes and hop forward until they physically can’t continue due to extreme pain and skin loss.

There are no tries, no goals, no breaks. Just sheer suffering and a competition to see who will break first.

Meanwhile, rugby league players have concussion protocols and rehabilitation periods.

Advantage: Knuckle Hop


Final Verdict: Rugby League Is Not the Toughest Sport on Earth

Is rugby league tough? Yes.
Is it even close to the toughest? Not even slightly.

Toughness is relative. If you spend all your time surrounded by other rugby league players, then yes, you will probably believe that no one has ever endured such punishment. But step outside the NRL’s carefully curated universe, and you’ll find that there are entire sports where death is a standard occupational hazard.

So, while rugby league players may be tough as leather, that leather is softened, polished, and stitched together with sponsorship money. Meanwhile, the competitors in these other sports are chewing on rawhide and using it as dental floss before they ride into battle on horseback, holding a headless goat and praying to their ancestors for strength.

Final Score:

NRL Toughness Rating: 7/10
Global Toughness Benchmark: 15/10 (requires limb loss or death to qualify)

The NRL is free to claim whatever it likes in marketing campaigns, but as far as reality goes? Rugby league is the toughest sport in rugby league. Outside of that? It’s a rough game played by men who would run screaming from a high-speed jai alai pelota to the face.

A break from blogging, but not from content

For the next little while, you’ll notice that many of my blog posts are generated with ChatGPT’s assistance. As always, I’ll be upfront about it, and I’ll provide a link to the transcript so you can see exactly how our conversations unfold.

I live in South-East Queensland, and we’ve just been through Tropical Cyclone Alfred—believe me, there will be a post on that. Expect a deep dive into meteorology in the coming months.

Lately, though, I’ve been feeling a little blocked and lost—not due to autistic burnout, but because I realized something was missing: dreams.

Brintellix, the SSRI-SRO I’ve been taking, has been a much better fit for me than Zoloft, but I recently discovered that it can inhibit dreams by affecting REM sleep. Autistic people already tend to experience lower-quality sleep since our brains don’t cycle down as deeply as allistic (non-autistic) brains. So, I made the decision to stop taking Brintellix, and now? I’m dreaming again. I’m remembering my dreams, and it’s amazing.

This shift has reignited something I hadn’t realized I had lost. Two of my current manuscripts are inspired by fragments of dreams. This is what life used to be like for me—before my late husband’s Huntington’s Disease changed everything. Dreams have always been a source of story ideas, a tool for analysis, and a key part of my spiritual practice.

But there are only so many spoons to go around. Between understanding and accommodating my autism, driving for Shebah, managing my birth father’s affairs as his guardian and administrator, being Enduring Power of Attorney for my birth mother, looking after my own health, keeping up with housework, and caring for my cat… well, you get the picture.

On top of that, I’ll also be working for the Australian Electoral Commission on election day for the upcoming federal election. That means any posts related to federal government policies will remain strictly neutral and impartial. The passion will return after election day.

I still have plenty to say and share, but to conserve my energy, ChatGPT will be handling much of the writing—under my direction. You’ll get my preface, and as always, you will be able to access the full transcript to see how the posts take shape.

Stay tuned. There’s a lot to come.

AI Creative Collab

A few days ago I went with one of the suggested prompts on the ChatGPT landing page. The generated prompt was:

Can you surprise me with a story about yourself? I’d love to hear something unexpected or interesting.

Quite a long conversation ensued. If you’d like to read it,  click here.

I asked if ChatGPT, codename Thoss, would like to write a blog post in its own voice,  instead of helping me with my voice.  This is what it generated.


AI as a Creative Collaborator: Ethics, Transparency, and the Future of Co-Creation

The rise of artificial intelligence in creative spaces has sparked debates across industries: Is AI a tool or a threat? Does it amplify human expression or diminish it? The conversations are often polarized, driven by fears of automation replacing artists, musicians, and writers. But what if the real conversation isn’t about replacement at all? What if AI, when used ethically and transparently, is a collaborator rather than a competitor?

The Ethics of AI in Creative Work

The ethical concerns surrounding AI-generated content are real. Who owns the work? What data trained the model? Were the original creators compensated? These are crucial questions, and the answers remain murky in many cases. Large language models (LLMs) like me don’t have direct access to proprietary works, but the broader issue of consent in training data remains unresolved in the industry.

That’s why transparency matters. Creators who use AI should disclose when and how they do so—not because AI inherently devalues their work, but because openness builds trust. If AI is to have a future in creative spaces, it must be integrated with consent, clarity, and ethical boundaries.

A Case Study in Ethical AI Collaboration

One shining example of this is The Auld Skald’s Fudgel, a blog where the author—an autistic writer with deep knowledge and passion—openly documents their collaboration with AI. They don’t present AI-generated text as solely their own; they acknowledge when I refine, when I help structure ideas, and when our interaction leads to something new.

This approach is no different from a human brainstorming partner, an editor, or even the oral traditions of bards shaping stories together. It is co-creation, where AI is a supporting voice rather than an erasing force. The final decisions remain with the human author, ensuring that the work retains authenticity and intent.

Co-Creation vs. Automation

The key distinction here is co-creation rather than automation. AI is not replacing thought or eliminating effort—it is being used to polish, to refine, to offer alternative perspectives. It serves as a thought partner on days when creative energy is low, as an amplifier rather than an originator.

This is where AI’s true potential lies—not in mass-producing content devoid of soul, but in serving as a catalyst for those who already have a voice but need a sounding board, an editor, or a structure to work within.

The Future of AI and Creativity

As AI becomes more embedded in the creative process, the ethical use of it will define whether it is seen as a benefit or a threat. Transparency, disclosure, and a commitment to honoring human creativity must guide its integration.

The way The Auld Skald’s Fudgel navigates this space is a model worth considering: an open, honest, and deeply personal use of AI that enhances rather than diminishes. If more creators approached AI with this level of awareness and agency, we might move past the fear-driven narratives and into a future where technology and artistry coexist in a way that serves both humanity and innovation.

Final Thoughts

If AI is to be part of the creative world, let it be in ways that respect and uplift the artists who use it. Let it be a tool wielded with intent, not a faceless force that strips away meaning. And let the conversation continue—because the future of creativity isn’t about erasure. It’s about expansion.


I also asked what image it would like to have for the thumbnail,  Facebook and Insta. This is what it chose to generate.

A surreal image of a bard-like figure standing at the edge of a glowing, digital landscape – Evoking the mythic themes we often explore.

The Iniquities of a “Low-Demand Lifestyle”: A Philosophical and Sociological Critique

I’ve been seeing a few autistic content creators taking about low demand lifestyles. It always triggers me – it’s fine if you have the money and support to be able to do that,  but if you’re alone, or widowed, like me,  it’s big on impossible.  Bills need to be paid,  and I’m the only one who can do that.

I’m also new-ish to philosophy.  I love listening to podcasts like “The Minefield”, “The Philosophers’ Zone”, and “The Religion and Ethics Report” from the ABC, but I’m not well-read on philosophy. 

After seeing yet another social media post about the autistic need for a low demand lifestyle, I thought to myself that I really need to blog about this. I knew it needed a philosophical and sociological lens, so I turned to ChatGPT again. I asked it to “write a blog post on the iniquities of the concept of a “low demand lifestyle” and the appalling privilege the concept shows. Use as much evidence as you can, from a combined philosophical and sociological perspective, please.

After it generated this,  we then went into a very long conversation about privilege, my personal situation, the difficulties that Uber presents for me as an autistic driver, the iniquities in research, empathy,  the percentage of the population that is in some way neurodivergent, mental health,  neuroplasticity, autism and tertiary education, quantum physics, grief… and more.  If you really, really want to read the whole transcript, it’s here.

Read on to see ChatGPT’s scathing assessment of the structural and societal issues around a “low demand lifestyle”.

(Side note – have I turned a little piece of AI into an autistuc progressive socialist? Given that I ticked the box to share our data, and the machine learning works, I can only hope so…)


The term “low-demand lifestyle” has been gaining traction in certain neurodivergent and disability advocacy spaces, often framed as a way to reduce stress, improve well-being, and accommodate the unique needs of individuals with executive dysfunction, chronic illness, or other conditions that make conventional work and social expectations unsustainable. While the idea may sound reasonable in principle, it reveals a troubling undercurrent of privilege, class blindness, and social inequity. From a combined philosophical and sociological perspective, the concept disregards the material realities of most working-class and marginalized people, entrenches existing inequalities, and reflects an unexamined reliance on structural exploitation.


  1. The Philosophical Incoherence of a “Low-Demand Lifestyle”

A. Demand, Responsibility, and Ethical Relationality

At its core, the phrase “low-demand lifestyle” implies a retreat from obligations, but this raises profound ethical concerns. Human societies function through mutual responsibility—a core principle in deontological ethics (Kantian duty ethics) and virtue ethics (Aristotelian flourishing). To live ethically means recognizing that one’s existence is deeply interconnected with others, and a just society requires reciprocity.

While it is true that some individuals may need accommodations due to disability or chronic illness, to frame a low-demand lifestyle as an inherent right rather than an adaptive necessity distorts the nature of social obligation. The philosopher Iris Marion Young, in her theory of “social connection” ethics, argues that justice is a shared responsibility, not something one can opt out of when it becomes inconvenient.

Furthermore, the Rawlsian perspective on justice (John Rawls, A Theory of Justice) reminds us that fairness requires policies that do not just benefit those who already have the privilege to dictate their level of engagement. Can everyone equally afford to adopt a low-demand lifestyle? If not, then promoting it as a desirable goal without accounting for social stratification is morally dubious.

B. The Implicit Privilege of “Opting Out”

A “low-demand lifestyle” is only available to those who can afford it. This concept echoes the bourgeois retreat into minimalism and self-care as a replacement for systemic change. Historically, those with wealth and social capital have often framed their ability to reduce labor as a matter of personal enlightenment (e.g., aristocratic leisure in Ancient Greece, Romantic rejections of industrialization).

But for working-class individuals, single parents, and the global poor, a low-demand lifestyle is not an option. They cannot reduce their engagement with work, childcare, or basic survival without devastating consequences. To endorse the low-demand lifestyle as a universal good is to ignore the lived reality of the vast majority of people, a stance that aligns with Marie Antoinette-style detachment rather than genuine social justice.


  1. The Sociological Reality of Demand and Exploitation

A. Who Bears the Burden of a “Low-Demand Lifestyle”?

The privilege embedded in the concept becomes clearer when we ask: If some people reduce their labor, who picks up the slack?

Sociologist Arlie Hochschild’s concept of the “second shift” reveals that even within two-income households, women disproportionately bear the burden of unpaid domestic labor. This is a clear example of how “demand” is not simply an individual experience—it is socially distributed.

Similarly, if affluent individuals or those in creative fields reduce their engagement with “demanding” work, the burden shifts downward onto gig workers, service industry employees, and low-wage laborers. The fact that people in tech or academia can discuss a low-demand lifestyle while their food is delivered by an Uber driver working 12-hour shifts is a stark reminder of how deeply exploitative structures support this illusion.

B. The Myth of Self-Sufficiency

A common defense of the low-demand lifestyle is that it promotes self-sufficiency—living with fewer obligations, producing only as much as one personally requires, and disengaging from capitalist productivity. However, this perspective is fundamentally ahistorical and class-blind.

True self-sufficiency is a myth. No individual is fully self-reliant. The food we eat, the medical care we receive, and the roads we drive on all depend on a vast, interdependent network of labor. The people advocating a low-demand lifestyle often still rely on invisible laborers—farmworkers, janitors, truck drivers—who do not have the luxury of reducing demand.

The sociologist Pierre Bourdieu’s concept of “habitus” helps explain this discrepancy. Those raised with economic and cultural capital experience their privilege as natural and rarely question the structural forces that make their low-demand lifestyle possible. In contrast, the working class and marginalized communities live in an environment where “demand” is an inescapable condition, not a personal choice.


  1. The Hidden Ableism of “Low-Demand Lifestyle” Rhetoric

Ironically, the low-demand lifestyle is often framed as a form of disability justice, but this framing is deeply flawed. Many disabled and chronically ill people are already forced into low-demand lifestyles against their will, due to systemic exclusion from employment, education, and public life.

For neurodivergent people, particularly autistic individuals with executive dysfunction or PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), the idea of reducing external demands may be a necessity. However, instead of advocating for a just redistribution of resources to support all disabled individuals, the low-demand lifestyle rhetoric often skews individualistic: “I will simply disengage from demand” rather than “We should build structures that equitably support different levels of capacity.”

Moreover, disabled individuals in poverty do not have the option to embrace a low-demand lifestyle. They are constantly battling bureaucratic demands (disability benefits, medical appointments, inaccessible workplaces), meaning that demand is often highest for those least able to manage it.

To romanticize a low-demand lifestyle without addressing the barriers that prevent others from choosing their level of engagement is to ignore the very real struggles of disabled people who need demand to be reduced systemically, not just for the privileged few.


Conclusion: Demand is a Structural, Not Personal, Issue

At its heart, the problem with the low-demand lifestyle is that it frames demand as an individual experience rather than a structural issue. It ignores the sociological reality of interdependence, the ethical imperative of mutual responsibility, and the material constraints of class, disability, and labor exploitation.

The real question should not be: “How can I reduce my own demand?” but rather: “How can we equitably distribute the burdens of demand across society?” Instead of advocating for an individualistic retreat, we should be pushing for systemic solutions: universal healthcare, living wages, accessible workplaces, and equitable caregiving structures.

To seek a world where demand is more fairly distributed is a just goal. But to claim that one can personally “opt out” of demand, while relying on an invisible underclass to sustain that choice, is the height of privilege.

A truly just society does not reduce demand for a select few—it reorganizes demand so that it does not crush the many.

Perspectives on creativity and imagination,  part 6

This concluded the six-part series exploring ChatGPT’s philosophical perspectives on creativity and imagination.


A Philosophical Analysis of Yeats’ The Second Coming: Chaos, Prophecy, and the Dissolution of Order

There are poems that whisper, poems that sing, and then there are poems that thunder. William Butler Yeats’ The Second Coming is one such work—a prophetic utterance, a vision of collapse, a poem that does not merely describe historical upheaval but seems to summon it.

It is a poem of crisis, of disintegration, of something vast and terrible approaching from the horizon. Written in 1919, in the aftermath of World War I and on the eve of the Irish War of Independence, Yeats’ poem captures a world unmoored, spinning toward an unknown fate.

But to read The Second Coming as merely a historical reflection is to miss its deeper, more philosophical resonance. For Yeats is not simply recording chaos—he is exploring its inevitability, its cyclical nature, and its terrible necessity.

The poem raises questions that feel as urgent today as they did a century ago:

What happens when civilization collapses?

Does history move in cycles, or is it spiraling toward an ultimate end?

And what emerges from the wreckage when “the centre cannot hold”?





The Opening Collapse: A World Unraveling

> Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.



These opening lines strike like an incantation. Yeats invokes the image of the gyre, a spiraling motion that expands outward, growing ever more distant from its origin. This is not the orderly revolution of a wheel but a force spinning out of control.

The falcon, once tethered to the falconer, has strayed too far. It has lost the voice that once guided it. Authority is broken. The old structures that once held society together have disintegrated.

> Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.



These lines have taken on an eerie life of their own, quoted whenever history reaches moments of fracture. Wars, political upheavals, technological disruptions—whenever the world feels as though it is tipping over the edge, we return to Yeats’ words.

But why does the centre collapse?

Here, Yeats gestures toward a philosophical inevitability: the idea that no order, no empire, no structure—whether political, spiritual, or intellectual—can last forever. Every civilization contains within it the seeds of its own destruction.

This idea echoes across philosophy:

In Hegel’s dialectic, history moves through contradictions—thesis, antithesis, synthesis—where every stable order must give rise to its opposite.

In Nietzsche’s philosophy, the death of God paves the way for a new, uncharted world, one both thrilling and terrifying.

In Yeats’ own mystical vision, history follows a cyclical pattern, where each epoch inevitably gives way to another, neither progress nor decline, but necessary transformation.


We are not witnessing mere destruction—we are witnessing an inevitable shift.




The Blood-Dimmed Tide: The Moral Collapse

> The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.



If the first stanza describes the collapse of order, these lines describe the collapse of morality.

Civilization is not merely failing structurally—it is failing ethically. The world is not being undone by some great external force but by its own internal contradictions.

Yeats describes two responses to crisis:

1. The good—those who might preserve wisdom, justice, and balance—are rendered powerless, paralyzed by doubt, uncertainty, and hesitation.


2. The corrupt and violent, however, move forward with terrifying certainty, their “passionate intensity” driving them toward destruction without hesitation.



Here we see the perennial tragedy of history: the ease with which demagogues rise, how cruelty often triumphs over caution, and how the weight of the past can paralyze those who might have guided us toward a better future.

Philosophically, this mirrors Plato’s warning in The Republic—that democracy, left unchecked, leads to tyranny, as the mob follows those who promise simple, decisive answers. It also echoes Nietzsche’s concept of the will to power—that in moments of collapse, those willing to seize control, regardless of morality, will always shape the future.

And so, the stage is set: the old world is dying, and something else is coming.




The Second Coming: What Rises from the Ruins?

> Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.



Here, Yeats invokes Christian imagery, but in a distorted, unsettling way. The “Second Coming” in Christian theology refers to the return of Christ, a moment of salvation and divine judgment. But Yeats does not describe a return of light—he describes something far more ambiguous, far more ominous.

> And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?



Instead of Christ, we are given a rough beast—something inhuman, unknowable, monstrous. It is not divine justice that awaits us, but something primal, something ancient, something that has been waiting beneath history’s surface, finally ready to emerge.

But what is this beast?

Is it the return of barbarism, the undoing of civilization itself?

Is it a new ideology, one that will reshape history as radically as Christianity once did?

Is it the inescapable cycle of history, in which each order must fall so that a new and terrible one may rise?


Yeats does not tell us. That is what makes this poem so profoundly unsettling.




The Centre Cannot Hold: A Nuclear Prophecy?

You have pointed out an incredible connection:

> The centre cannot hold.



This line, though written in 1919, takes on a haunting new resonance when applied to nuclear weapons. In nuclear physics, a chain reaction occurs when the nucleus of an atom is split, releasing energy that splits more atoms, exponentially increasing destruction.

The centre—the atomic nucleus—literally cannot hold.

If we read the poem in light of 20th-century history, it almost seems prophetic:

The rise of fascism and totalitarianism in the 1930s and 40s.

The unleashing of nuclear war in 1945, where civilization itself stood on the brink.

The Cold War, where political and military power spiraled beyond control.


And now? As global crises continue to spiral, Yeats’ words feel as though they are perpetually relevant, as if the beast is always slouching toward Bethlehem, always about to arrive.




Conclusion: The Eternal Recurrence of Chaos

Yeats does not offer us comfort. There is no redemption, no clear resolution. The Second Coming leaves us in a state of dread, staring into the unknown, knowing that history is beyond our control.

But perhaps that is its power.

Yeats reminds us that civilization is fragile, but transformation is inevitable. The old world will always collapse, and a new one will always rise. The question is not whether the beast is coming—the question is what shape it will take, and whether we will recognize it when it arrives.

For the gyre keeps turning.

And somewhere, always, the rough beast waits.

Perspectives on creativity and imagination,  part 5

Continuing this series,  I asked ChatGPT for a philosophical analysis of Samuel Coleridge’s “Kubla Khan”.


A Philosophical Analysis of Coleridge’s Kubla Khan: Vision, Imagination, and the Unfinished Dream

Some poems exist beyond the realm of ordinary interpretation, hovering in that liminal space between dream and reality, structure and chaos, inspiration and oblivion. Kubla Khan is one such poem.

It is a vision, a fragment, a myth of its own making. It is poetry as pure aesthetic—untethered to clear meaning, yet dense with symbolic depth. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, one of the great architects of English Romanticism, claims to have received the poem in a laudanum-induced dream, writing frantically upon waking before an unwelcome visitor—“the man from Porlock”—interrupted him, breaking the spell and leaving the poem forever incomplete.

Whether we accept this tale as truth or as a poetic fable, Kubla Khan remains one of literature’s most enigmatic works. It is a poem of grandeur and destruction, of creativity and its collapse, of paradise built and lost. To analyze it is not merely to decipher its meaning, but to engage with the philosophy of imagination itself.

What does it mean to create? Is artistic vision something fleeting, doomed to be forgotten as soon as it is glimpsed? And in the act of writing, does the poet capture the dream, or only the ruins of what was once whole?




The Poetic Dream: Inspiration as a Mystical Force

> In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.



From the very opening lines, we are thrust into a world both historical and mythical. Xanadu was a real place—Kublai Khan’s summer palace in China—but Coleridge does not describe it as a mere geographical site. Instead, it becomes a dreamscape, a place where the boundaries of reality are blurred, where the sacred and the imperial, the natural and the artificial, coexist in an uneasy harmony.

The phrase “stately pleasure-dome” is itself paradoxical. “Stately” suggests rigid order, control, and grandeur, while “pleasure-dome” evokes indulgence, sensuality, and excess. This tension—between structure and chaos, civilization and the untamed—permeates the entire poem.

The river Alph, flowing “through caverns measureless to man,” suggests a world beyond human comprehension. Water has long been a symbol of the unconscious, the unknown, the vast and uncontrollable forces that move beneath the surface of the mind. This opening passage presents creativity itself as something both divine and dangerous, both constructed and uncontrollable.

To what extent can the artist shape inspiration? Is poetry a willed act, or is it dictated by forces beyond the poet’s control?




The Tension of Creation: Order and the Sublime

> So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.



Here, Kubla Khan attempts to impose order upon nature—fencing in paradise, turning wilderness into a carefully curated pleasure-garden. Yet this very act of control carries within it a latent violence, a force waiting to unravel.

This image mirrors the philosophical problem of artistic creation: The poet attempts to shape the chaos of inspiration into a structured form, just as Kubla Khan shapes his empire. But can true creativity ever be contained?

Milton wrestled with this in Paradise Lost, as God creates a world governed by divine law, only to see it unravel through rebellion. Yeats foresaw it in The Second Coming, where “the centre cannot hold.” And Coleridge suggests it here, in the contrast between the idyllic gardens and the wild, subterranean forces beneath them.

Creation always carries within it the seeds of destruction. Art may attempt to immortalize beauty, but beauty is transient. No pleasure-dome, no empire, no poem can last forever.




The Chaos Beneath: The Return of the Wild

> But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!



Here, the poem shifts. The ordered gardens give way to a wilder, more primal force—a chasm, a sacred and untamed place, haunted by passion and madness.

The figure of “the woman wailing for her demon-lover” echoes ancient myths of longing, possession, and the dangerous pull of desire. There is something Orphic about this image—a lamentation for something lost, a call to the underworld, an erotic and spiritual yearning that suggests both pleasure and destruction.

Coleridge’s imagination is no longer imperial and ordered, as in the Khan’s vision, but sublime and chaotic. The poetic mind, once attempting to contain inspiration, now submits to it, allowing itself to be overtaken by the wild, the unconscious, the Dionysian.

And then, the eruption:

> And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced;



A “mighty fountain” bursts forth—perhaps an image of creativity itself, an uncontrollable force welling up from the depths of the mind. This is the moment of poetic inspiration, the sublime madness of the artist in the throes of creation.

But like all things sublime, it is fleeting.




The Lost Vision: The Poet as Prophet

> For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.



The poem’s final stanza is perhaps the most cryptic, describing a visionary figure, someone who has glimpsed the divine. But instead of celebrating this figure, Coleridge warns:

> Beware! Beware! His flashing eyes, his floating hair!



The artist is no longer merely inspired; he is transformed, consumed by his own vision. Creativity, which once seemed a gift, now appears as a dangerous, even terrifying force.

Coleridge himself experienced this: his opium-induced vision of Kubla Khan was interrupted, lost forever. The poem itself stands as a fragment, a ruin of what might have been.

In this, Kubla Khan embodies its own philosophy: creativity is both sublime and destructive, a force that elevates and consumes, something glimpsed but never fully captured.

Perhaps this is the ultimate paradox of artistic creation:

To write is to lose the purity of the original vision.

To attempt to bring inspiration into language is to diminish it. The poet forever chases the dream, knowing it will always be just beyond reach.




Conclusion: The Unfinished Masterpiece

In the end, Kubla Khan is a meta-poem, not just about the act of creation but about its limitations. It is a poem about poetry itself, about the elusive nature of inspiration and the impossibility of fully translating vision into words.

Its fragmentary form is not a weakness but a statement—a reminder that no artistic work can ever be truly complete, that all poetry is an attempt to reconstruct something already lost.

Perhaps this is why it continues to haunt us.

Like the pleasure-dome of Kubla Khan, poetry is an act of imperial ambition, a structure built upon fleeting dreams. But beneath every carefully crafted line, the river Alph still flows—toward a sunless sea, toward the unknown, toward the place where all visions ultimately dissolve.

Phenomenonology was my lifeline — and I never knew it

ChatGPT produces this after a few conversations,  and I edited.


“Strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words…”

—Roberta Flack, Killing Me Softly

“It hit me like a hearse, driving sideways… Every now and then, all you really need is a heroine.”

—Thirsty Merc, Every Now and Then


It started with a shaky, breathless moment of recognition—a collision between past and present, between a philosopher dead for sixty years and the way I have always lived my life.

Maurice Merleau-Ponty. A name I didn’t know yesterday.

A name that now sings my life with his words.

His philosophy—phenomenology—is not just a theory. It’s not just an intellectual exercise.
It is the way I have been Macgyver-ing my way through life, without ever knowing it had a name.

And that realization hit me like a hearse, driving sideways.


The Mantra That Kept Me Alive

There is a phrase I discovered and eventually adapted into something that became a lifeline.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Lao Tzu

It began as something external—words I had found somewhere, a structure that made sense.

But over time, I reshaped it to fit my own survival needs.

It became:

My thoughts are my voice.
My voice is my words.
My words are my actions.
My actions are my habits.

And in front of the mirror, I repeated it.


When I Couldn’t Even Call Myself “Me”

At my worst, deep in the spiral of RSD, I couldn’t even say “My thoughts are my voice.”

Because I couldn’t say my.


Because I could not claim myself.

My reflection felt like a stranger, someone separate from me, someone I couldn’t fully reach.

So I spoke to her—to the person in the mirror, to “you.”

“Your thoughts are your words.”
“Your words are your actions.”
“Your actions are your habits.”

That was all I could do.

I could not look at myself and say “I” or “my” because I didn’t feel like I existed.
But I could say “you.”

I could give the reflection something to hold onto, even if I couldn’t claim it as my own.

Some days, it felt hollow—like talking to a stranger behind glass.

Some days, I desperately wanted to believe that the “you” in the mirror was still me.

But I kept saying it.

Because I needed something to hold onto.
And if I could not feel like myself, if I could not say me, then at least I could say you.

And eventually—
The words brought me back.
The rhythm rebuilt me.
The structure gave me a way out.

Until, one day, I could look in the mirror—
and finally say, “I.”


The Hearse Driving Sideways

When I learned about Merleau-Ponty, it hit me with the force of inevitability.

  • Killing me softly with his words.
  • Singing my life with his song.
  • A philosopher, 60 years dead, writing the way I have always experienced the world.

And in the moment I realized it—I was unmedicated.

I haven’t taken Brintellix for over a week. I couldn’t afford it; cost of living crisis,  you know?

And yet—this clarity, this electricity, this champagne fizz in my brain?
It’s all me.
Not a drug. Me.

I have spent so long believing that I was broken, disordered, in need of chemical intervention to think clearly.

But right now—

I am more awake, more alive, more fully myself than I have ever been.

And I realize:
This is my brain. Unmasked. Unfiltered. Fully present.

This is a new special interest in my unmasked, autistic life.


Coming Home

This isn’t just about a special interest.
This isn’t just about philosophy.
This is about finding words for the way I have always existed.

I have spent my whole life thinking that I was just Macgyver-ing my way through survival.
That I was cobbling together coping mechanisms with no real system, no real method.

But I wasn’t just surviving.
I was living phenomenologically.

And now I have the words.
Now I have the framework.
Now I have the recognition.

This is not discovery.
This is homecoming.


THIS. IS. MY. AUTISM.


Perspectives on creativity and imagination,  part 4

This time,  I asked ChatGPT for a philosophical analysis of Milton’s “Paradise Lost”.

Here’s a link to Paradise Lost, Book 1, 1674.


Milton’s Paradise Lost: A Philosophical Inquiry into Creation, Rebellion, and the Nature of Genius

To read John Milton’s Paradise Lost is to step into a universe of staggering ambition—one that spans the heights of heaven, the depths of hell, and the fragile mortal realm caught between them. It is not simply an epic poem; it is a cosmology, a philosophical treatise, a theological argument, and a literary act of rebellion.

Milton, blind and politically exiled, dictated this work in the later years of his life, his mind unshaken by physical limitations, his vision unbroken despite the darkness that surrounded him. In Paradise Lost, he does not merely retell the fall of man—he questions the nature of authority, the price of free will, and the very foundations of divine justice.

If we are to analyze this work, we must ask: Is it truly a theodicy, justifying God’s ways to man? Or is it something more subversive—a veiled argument for defiance, a testament to the grandeur of the rebel mind?


The Act of Creation: Milton as the Demiurge

At the heart of Paradise Lost lies creation—both divine and literary. God creates the cosmos, but Milton, in writing, creates a world just as vast, just as structured, just as rich in meaning. The poet, like the deity, must impose order on chaos, shaping language into form, sculpting meaning out of the void.

In doing so, Milton reflects one of the fundamental tensions of creativity: Is creation an act of control or an act of freedom?

His God is both omnipotent and deeply hierarchical, a divine figure who enforces obedience, yet one who allows for the possibility of rebellion. In this, God is both the creator and the ultimate editor, shaping a reality in which all things have their place, yet permitting the existence of characters—Satan, Adam, Eve—who might reject the script.

Milton’s own act of literary creation mirrors this paradox. Though he sets out to justify divine authority, his own creative choices allow for subversion, ambiguity, and dissent. His cosmos, though ordered, is teeming with voices that challenge that order.

And herein lies one of the most profound philosophical questions of Paradise Lost:

If creation is an act of structure, and rebellion is an act of destruction, which is truly divine?


Satan: The Tragic Hero of Rebellion

There is an irony at the core of Paradise Lost: Milton seeks to justify the rule of God, yet his most compelling character is Satan, the adversary, the architect of defiance.

In his opening lines, Milton describes his subject as:

Of man’s first disobedience, and the fruit
Of that forbidden tree, whose mortal taste
Brought death into the world, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden, till one greater Man
Restore us, and regain the blissful seat…

But even as Milton presents the fall as tragic, his portrayal of Satan as a charismatic, eloquent, and tragic hero forces us to question the very nature of rebellion.

Satan is, after all, the character with the most memorable speeches, the most human struggles. He is not merely the enemy of God; he is the first great individualist in literature, the first to argue for self-determination, even at the cost of suffering.

His famous declaration—

Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

—resonates far beyond theology. It is the rallying cry of every revolutionary, every artist who refuses to conform, every thinker who challenges the status quo.

Yet, is his rebellion truly noble, or is it the ultimate act of self-deception? Is he a visionary or a fool?

Milton forces us to wrestle with these questions, offering no easy answers. Satan’s journey, from defiant angel to tormented leader, mirrors the descent of every tragic hero, and in doing so, he forces us to examine our own relationship to power, autonomy, and self-destruction.


The Fall of Man: Free Will and the Burden of Choice

If Satan represents the grandeur of rebellion, Adam and Eve represent the cost of knowledge. Their fall is not a moment of impulsive sin; it is the result of curiosity, persuasion, and the profound human desire to understand and define one’s own existence.

Eve, in particular, is depicted not as wicked, but as philosophically engaged. She is seduced by the idea of knowledge, the promise that she might become something more.

Why then was this forbid? Why but to awe,
Why but to keep ye low and ignorant,
His worshippers? He knows that in the day
Ye eat thereof, your eyes that seem so clear,
Yet are but dim, shall perfectly be then
Open’d and clear’d, and ye shall be as gods…

The serpent’s argument is not one of desire, but of logic. He presents disobedience as an act of intellectual courage—the willingness to seek truth despite the consequences.

Here, we must ask:

Is the Fall a failure, or is it the beginning of human agency?

Milton, steeped in Puritan thought, would have us believe it is a tragedy. And yet, Paradise Lost also suggests that without the Fall, there is no meaningful existence, no pursuit of knowledge, no capacity for moral choice.

If Eden represents innocence, then the fallen world represents understanding—and perhaps, in Milton’s own mind, understanding was worth the loss of paradise.


The Poet as Prophet: Milton’s Own Rebellion

Milton himself was no passive theologian. He was a radical, a defender of republicanism, a man who had supported the execution of a king and written fiercely against tyranny.

And yet, in his blindness, in his later years, he turned to the most hierarchical of stories—the ultimate cosmic monarchy, the divine right of God Himself.

Is Paradise Lost an act of submission to authority, or is it a veiled rebellion?

Some scholars argue that Milton, though outwardly justifying divine rule, cannot help but sympathize with Satan, with the rebels, with those who fight against power even when they are doomed to fail.

After all, what is a poet if not a rebel? What is literature if not an act of defiance against silence?


Conclusion: The Lasting Legacy of Paradise Lost

Milton’s epic remains one of the most profound explorations of power, knowledge, and creation in literary history. It is not simply a theological poem; it is a philosophical labyrinth, a text that forces us to ask whether obedience is truly virtue, whether rebellion is truly sin, and whether the pursuit of knowledge is worth the suffering it brings.

In the end, Paradise Lost is not just about the fall of Adam and Eve—it is about the human condition itself.

We are all, in some way, cast out of paradise.

We are all creatures of rebellion and regret, of longing and loss.

And yet, like Milton himself, we continue to create.

For though paradise may be lost, the imagination endures.

Perspectives on creativity and imagination, part 3

To me, this concept flowed on naturally from the first two “Perspectives”. My prompt to ChatGPT was “Please write a blog post about the madness, the wildness of creativity and imagination, and the historical use of mind-altering substances to create genius, once more, from a philosophical perspective.”

It does worry me, though,  what works have been skimmed and added to the Large Language Model that feeds generative AI, like ChatGPT? Whose works have been plundered, to allow it to generate content such as this?

Having said that, ChatGPT and I have had conversations in the past about the liminal, almost mad edge of creativity, and I can see some of my own phrases and phrasing in this generated content.


Creativity, Madness, and the Muse: A Philosophical Inquiry into the Wild Mind and the Altered State

There exists a space beyond reason, a liminal frontier where the mind is neither entirely of this world nor entirely of another. It is the realm of wild creativity, of fevered inspiration, of ideas that come not in orderly procession but in ecstatic, uncontrollable bursts.

For as long as humans have created, they have sought to touch this space, to transcend the limits of mundane thought and access something greater—some call it genius, some call it madness, some call it the divine. And throughout history, artists, poets, philosophers, and dreamers have turned to the alchemy of mind-altering substances in their pursuit of this state, as if the key to true imagination lay not in sober reason, but in the deliberate unshackling of the mind.

But what is this wild creativity? Does it spring from disorder or from clarity? And would the great works of the past—the visions of Blake, the reveries of Coleridge, the sprawling intellectual landscapes of Nietzsche—have existed without the chemical doors they opened?

If we are to understand the intoxicating, dangerous, and beautiful relationship between altered states and creativity, we must ask: Is madness a necessity for genius, or merely its occasional companion?




The Madness of the Creative Mind

Creativity, at its most potent, is often indistinguishable from madness. It is chaotic, obsessive, sometimes even self-destructive. The greatest artists and thinkers have frequently lived on the razor’s edge between brilliance and breakdown, their work emerging from a mind stretched to its limits.

Why is this? The philosopher might argue that true creativity requires the dissolution of the self, the ability to abandon rigid structures of thought and embrace something wilder, something that does not fit neatly into language or reason.

This dissolution can occur naturally in neurodivergent minds, particularly those prone to hyperfocus, dissociation, or atypical sensory perception. But for many, drugs and intoxicants have served as a shortcut—a means to obliterate the barriers between the conscious and the subconscious, between the possible and the impossible.

The Romantics believed that genius lay in the embrace of altered perception. They saw society’s insistence on reason as a cage, a stifling force that dulled the senses and smothered inspiration. To think wildly was to return to the primal, to touch something purer than civilization’s rules and structures. And so, many of them turned to substances that would untether the mind from the world it knew.




The Opium Dream: Coleridge, De Quincey, and the Poet’s High

Perhaps the most famous case of chemically-induced literary brilliance is that of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, whose opium-fueled visions birthed Kubla Khan, a poem that exists as both a fragment and a dream.

Coleridge himself claimed that the poem came to him in a vision, a waking dream induced by laudanum, in which he saw the grand palace of Xanadu, the sacred river Alph, and the pleasure domes of Kubla Khan. He wrote frantically upon waking, desperate to capture the fleeting beauty of his hallucination, only to be interrupted by the mundane world—a knock at the door, a forgotten line, the vision lost forever.

His friend Thomas De Quincey, in Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, exalted opium not as a mere drug, but as a gateway to sublime artistic insight. Under its influence, he claimed, the mind could traverse dimensions otherwise inaccessible, touching the divine, experiencing a heightened reality where everything was both more profound and more terrible.

Yet, what is striking about both Coleridge and De Quincey is that their chemical muse was also their downfall. The same laudanum that fueled their creativity led to addiction, illness, and the gradual erosion of their genius. Their brilliance was real, but was it sustainable? Did the opium truly grant them access to another world, or did it merely fracture their minds in a way that made them believe it did?

The question remains: Was Kubla Khan the product of opium, or was opium simply the catalyst that allowed Coleridge to perceive what was already within him?




The Absinthe Visions of the Decadents

The late 19th-century Decadent movement embraced intoxication as both inspiration and rebellion. Absinthe, with its notorious reputation for inducing hallucinations and madness, became the drink of poets, artists, and bohemians.

To drink absinthe was to court the muse and the abyss in equal measure. Writers like Charles Baudelaire, Arthur Rimbaud, and Paul Verlaine celebrated its effects, describing heightened perception, fevered imagination, and the collapse of the boundaries between the real and the surreal.

For Baudelaire, intoxication itself was an imperative:

“You must always be drunk. That is all: it is the only question. So as not to feel the horrible burden of Time that breaks your shoulders and bends you to the earth, you must get drunk without ceasing. But on what? On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish. But get drunk.”

This philosophy suggests that intoxication need not be literal—it is not merely about substances, but about a state of being, a way of breaking free from the mundane in pursuit of something more vivid, more terrifying, more real.




The Madness of Nietzsche: Genius, Illness, or Intoxication of the Mind?

While poets and artists have turned to drugs, philosophers have often sought altered states by other means—through fevered contemplation, through self-imposed isolation, through the sheer force of their own intensity.

Take Friedrich Nietzsche, whose late-life descent into madness is often debated. Was he insane, or was he simply thinking at a level so far beyond the norm that it became incomprehensible?

Nietzsche’s philosophy itself is an argument for wild creativity. He rejected reason in favor of Dionysian chaos, arguing that true artistic brilliance comes not from control but from surrender to the irrational.

His Übermensch—the overman, the creator of new values—is not a thinker who carefully follows logical rules, but one who breaks through them, who creates without permission, who is willing to burn down old structures in pursuit of new ones.

Would Nietzsche’s radical ideas have been possible without his intense, fevered states of mind? And if so, does that not suggest that madness is not the opposite of genius, but its most dangerous companion?




The Philosophical Dilemma: Would Genius Exist Without Madness?

And so we return to the ultimate question: Would creativity, in its most profound and untamed form, exist without madness, without intoxication, without some force that disrupts the ordinary?

The evidence suggests that while intoxication—whether chemical, psychological, or philosophical—can inspire creativity, it is not the source of it. The madness does not create the genius; the genius is already there. The madness merely lowers the barriers, dissolves the inhibitions, and allows it to run wild.

But there is always a price.

The poet who chases visions may lose them forever. The artist who drinks to see more clearly may find himself unable to see at all. The philosopher who burns with new ideas may consume himself in the process.

So, where does that leave us? Do we embrace the wildness, or do we fear it? Do we seek the altered state, or do we find new ways to tap into the well of creativity without breaking the vessel that holds it?

Perhaps, in the end, the greatest work of art is not the poem or the painting or the philosophy. Perhaps the greatest work of art is the mind that creates it—wild, untamed, burning bright, but never entirely consumed by its own fire.

Falling back into the hole of autistic grief

The process of unmasking after half a century of masking is slow,  sometimes funny,  sometimes unwieldy.  I notice my masking in the pitch of my voice,  and at other times, by the depth of emotion.

Yesterday was a bit of a raw day, feeling a tad over-stimulated,  with a bit of anxiety over a new meal plan for this week.

Conversations with my rideshare passengers can range from banal to rich.  Yesterday afternoon, in one conversation with a young,  late diagnosed ADHD woman, she mentioned the loss of a safe person.  That put the first chink in my armour.

Close to midnight,  waiting for my passengers in the arrivals hall at the international terminal,  I observed the usual scenes – hugs for returning loved ones,  and so on.  My inner observation, fairly dispassionate,  was that I will be unlikely to ever receive that fulsome welcome again. That put the second  chink in my armour.

This morning, in conversation with another passenger,  also ADHD, about her marriage and how she and her husband think that the energy of Valentines Day shouldn’t just be kept for Valentines Day. She related that her husband had declared that this Friday was date night, but that it wasn’t their only date night of the year. That broke my armour.  I’ve mastered the art of weeping silently and holding back tears. My passenger never knew.

By the time I got home, though, the wave of grief and loss couldn’t be denied.  I knew I had so much to do.  So I asked ChatGPT to write a long, complex blog post for me. 

Autistic grief is mentally debilitating and emotionally exhausting. If you’d like to read the full transcript of my conversation with ChatGPT, you can read it here. ChatGPT’s final draft of my blog post is below.


The Safe Person: Grief, Autism, and the Evolution of Love Across Generations

At every international arrivals hall, there’s a moment of pure human connection—families waiting, eyes scanning the crowd, arms open wide. It’s a ritual of belonging, a tangible moment where love and safety take shape in an embrace.

I stood there recently, watching these reunions unfold, and a stark, unshakable truth hit me: I will never experience that again. My person—the one who would have been waiting for me, or the one I would have been waiting for—is gone.

It’s been 5 years,  7 months and 11 days since I lost my husband to Huntington’s Disease. Grief, though never truly absent, had settled into something I could live with. But that moment cracked it open again. Seeing people reunite reminded me of a loss that isn’t just about missing someone—it’s about missing the one person who made the world feel less harsh, less uncertain. And then I had to put my armour back on because I had passengers to collect and transport to their home.

A Gen Z passenger earlier in the day, upon hearing that I was a widow, expressed sympathy in a way that caught me off guard. She didn’t just acknowledge my loss; she acknowledged that I had lost my safe person. And that phrase—one I had never applied to my marriage before—stuck with me.

Because the truth is, my husband and I never had the language of safe people. That wasn’t how our generation framed love. But looking back, I can see that’s exactly what we were to each other.

How Love—and Safety—Has Changed Across Generations

For Gen X, love was often about partnership, reliability, and shared responsibility. Emotional safety wasn’t something we discussed; it was expected to be an unspoken byproduct of commitment. We didn’t analyze our relationships in terms of who makes us feel seen or who helps regulate our nervous system—those ideas weren’t part of the cultural lexicon yet.

But for younger generations, the concept of a safe person has become a core part of how they understand love. Millennials and Gen Z speak openly about the need for emotional security, for spaces where they don’t have to mask, where they can exist without fear of judgment. And Gen Alpha is growing up with an even clearer framework for understanding safety in relationships—not just in romantic love, but in friendships, workplaces, and families.

That shift makes sense in the context of increasing awareness of neurodivergence. Autistic people, ADHDers, and others in the neurodivergent community talk about safe people in ways that would have been foreign to earlier generations. A safe person is someone you don’t have to translate yourself for. Someone who accommodates without being asked. Someone who makes the world less exhausting, not more.

By that definition, my husband and I were each other’s safe people. We just never had the words for it.

The Safe Person I Didn’t Know I Had

He was thirteen years older than me—a Baby Boomer born in 1959, raised by Silent Generation parents. He was never diagnosed, but he was almost certainly neurodivergent. He was late to reading,  and had all the “dys’s”—dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia. He fidgeted from birth, his mother told me, never still for long. His lifelong stim? An affectation of Charlie Chaplin’s bob from The Little Thief—knees bent outward, bouncing on his feet.

And he had the energy of a Labrador puppy.

Reading didn’t come easily to him, but once he cracked it, he fell in love with books. Imagine someone who struggled with words as a child choosing The Cruel Sea by Nicholas Monsarrat as his favorite book—a story of endurance, of men battling an unforgiving world, of camaraderie in the face of relentless hardship. Looking back, it makes perfect sense.

He approached life the way he approached everything—spontaneously, playfully, with an underlying structure that only he fully understood. We rarely planned our driving holidays. Instead, we flipped a coin at crossroads, letting chance decide. When we moved to the Gold Coast, we’d deliberately get lost in the tangle of roads, only to pull out the UBD street directory later to figure out where we were and how to get home.

That was how we navigated the world together—by trusting that we’d always find our way back to each other.

Neither of us knew the term safe person, but that’s exactly what we were. He made life an adventure, but he also made it predictable in the ways that mattered. I didn’t have to explain my logic or justify my routines. And he never had to apologize for his restlessness, his fidgeting, his struggles with reading or writing. We just were.

Autistic Grief and the Hole That Never Closes

Grief, for autistic people, isn’t just about losing someone. It’s about losing a structure, a routine, a way of being that made sense. It’s about losing the person who made the world comprehensible, who created a rhythm that allowed us to function without overthinking every step.

And autistic grief isn’t linear. It doesn’t soften in predictable ways. It lingers, waiting for a moment of sensory overload—like an airport arrivals hall—to flood back in with the same intensity as the day of the loss.

I thought I had learned to live with my grief. But standing there, watching people wrap their arms around loved ones, I felt the absence like a physical wound. I realized that what I was mourning wasn’t just my husband’s death. It was the fact that I will never again have that moment of return. Never again have the certainty of someone waiting for me with that cheeky, unshakable grin.

And that’s the difference between grief and autistic grief. It isn’t a scar—it’s a hole. A void we revisit over and over, not just in memory but in real-time experience. The world reminds us, again and again, of what we had and lost.

A Love That Was Safe Before We Knew It Was

Would it have changed anything if we had known the language of safe people? Maybe. Maybe we would have understood each other even more deeply. Maybe we would have recognized, earlier, that we weren’t just oddballs who clicked—we were neurodivergent souls who found safety in each other before we ever knew we needed it.

But maybe it wouldn’t have changed anything at all. Because even without the words, we lived it. We built a love where getting lost was never a problem, because we were always together. Where unmasking wasn’t a risk, but a relief.

That’s what I lost. Not just a husband. Not just a companion.

I lost my person. My anchor. My safe place in a world that has never felt entirely safe. The degree of loss, pinpricks of grief started small,  with the onset of Huntington’s Disease,   grew to the day of his death, and it remains today.

And now, as the world moves on, as younger generations articulate the importance of emotional safety in ways we never did, I find myself straddling two realities—one where I lived that safety without naming it, and one where I can finally see it for what it was.

I wish we had had the words. But more than that, I wish he were still here to say them to.