No apology, no quarter
By Lee-Anne Ford
You say it came from nowhere.
A lightning strike, an accident, a fluke.
But tell me—
Where did my hair come from, skin, eyes?
Did my voice, hands, blood, bones, arrive by chance?
Mother, look to yourself, I’m half of your DNA.
Father, that’s you too. I’m half of your DNA.
My hair colour, my eyes,
My skin tone, MY AUTISM.
It is in OUR genes.
You don’t get to claim me
in the ways that make you proud
but disown the ways
that make you uncomfortable.
I am not broken.
I am not something that needs fixing.
I am the full, unedited version of us.
When you point a finger?
Four are pointing back at you.
Autism shouldn’t be a surprise.
Because—
Wanderers drown.
Unmanaged RSD kills.
Eating disorders kill.
Unmanaged ARFID is malnutrition.
When water repels, dehydration can kill.
PDA looks like death by police.
The Rule of Three is absolute
Just like our genes
If I die young, it won’t be because I was autistic. It will be because of you.
Because of your world, the one that refuses to see, learn, listen, change.
I was autistic at birth.
I will be autistic when I die.
And every day in between.
Years later, that woman has a daughter
Her own little autistic bundle of joy
Life will be better for her little sweetheart
Autistic life different was her ploy.
Hush little baby, don’t say a thing
Mama’s gonna buy you a fidget ring
And if that ring don’t soothe my girl
Mama will show you how to knit and purl
And if that knitting doesn’t make you smile
Mama’s gonna be here all the while
Mama’s gonna buy you a clockwork bird.
And if that bird’s song doesn’t bring delight,
Mama will hold you through the night.
And if the night’s too dark to see,
Mama’s gonna light up the galaxy.
And if those stars don’t calm your fears,
Mama’s gonna dry all your tears.
And if those tears still find their way,
Mama’s gonna teach you how to play.
And if that play feels too intense,
Mama’s gonna build you a safe defense.
And if that defense starts to fall,
Mama’s gonna be there through it all.
And if the world feels too unkind,
Mama’s gonna help you unwind.
And if unwinding takes some time,
Mama’s gonna sing this simple rhyme.
And if this rhyme doesn’t soothe your mind,
Know Mama’s love is always aligned.
So hush, little baby, don’t you cry,
Mama’s here to help you fly.
And if flying feels too much to do,
Mama’s gonna stay right here with you.
The Auld Skald's Fudgel 