Category: Autism

Under the influence of the Greeks, part 2

In part 1, ChatGPT and I discussed the origins of telos, ethos, pathos and logos. Here in part 2, we discuss more on telos, but with an autistic perspective.

ChatGPT (extract from part 1): For autistic individuals, thoughts and practices surrounding life purpose might diverge from neurotypical approaches due to differences in perception, experience, and the value placed on certain societal norms. Let’s break it down:

Life Purpose for an Autistic Person: Unique Considerations

For autistic individuals, defining and practicing life purpose may involve different thought processes, approaches, and challenges. Here are some ways life purpose might be experienced differently:

1. Intense Interests as Life Purpose:

Many autistic people have deep, focused interests that can provide a strong sense of purpose. These “special interests” can become the driving force behind career choices, hobbies, or creative pursuits, offering fulfillment through exploration and mastery of a subject.

2. Authenticity Over Societal Norms:

Autistic individuals may place a stronger emphasis on authenticity—living true to their values and desires rather than conforming to societal expectations. Life purpose for an autistic person might focus more on internal coherence and self-understanding, rather than achieving external milestones.

3. Purpose Beyond Work:

Because of challenges in traditional work environments, some autistic people might find purpose in areas outside of employment. This can include advocacy, creative pursuits, personal development, or deep study of particular subjects.

4. Self-Directed Paths:

Like in your self-directed learning approach, autistic individuals may thrive when pursuing life purpose outside of conventional structures (e.g., traditional schooling or career paths). Creating one’s own learning or growth path can provide a deep sense of meaning.

5. Navigating Executive Function Challenges:

Pursuing life purpose may involve additional navigation around executive functioning differences, sensory sensitivities, or other challenges. Support in areas like organization, planning, or managing emotional regulation can play a role in shaping how an autistic person engages with their purpose.

6. Community and Belonging:

Finding a sense of purpose in connection to communities that understand or share neurodivergent experiences can be deeply meaningful. Advocacy work for autism or other causes, or simply being part of a supportive neurodivergent community, can provide a sense of belonging and direction.

7. Rethinking Success:

The mainstream definition of success (wealth, status, etc.) might not resonate with an autistic person’s sense of life purpose. They might focus more on intellectual fulfillment, integrity, or personal well-being. In this sense, life purpose could be more about finding joy in everyday moments, projects, or connections rather than large-scale achievements.


—

Finding Purpose in an Autistic Context

Reflecting on Deep Interests: What brings sustained joy or focus? For autistic individuals, this might be the key to identifying life purpose, whether it’s a particular subject, skill, or creative endeavor.

Avoiding Overwhelm: Managing sensory sensitivities and burnout can be crucial to sustaining purpose-driven activities.

Creating Safe and Supportive Environments: Both physically and socially, having a space that nurtures one’s strengths without forcing conformity is essential in finding purpose.

In short, the concept of life purpose for autistic individuals may lean towards more individualized, authentic, and interest-driven paths, with a greater focus on aligning with one’s internal world rather than societal pressures. Does this perspective resonate with your own experience?

Me: It’s what I started doing, before I knew I was autistic. It was prompted by my then new status of widow, after my late husband’s death from Huntington’s Disease. That started a search for a new identity, and was the start of shedding some societal pressures.

ChatGPT: It’s powerful that you began that search for a new identity during such a profound life transition, even before you knew you were autistic. Shedding societal pressures and discovering what is truly meaningful to you seems to have been a deep and transformative journey. It sounds like that process of redefining yourself has continued to align with embracing authenticity and self-directed growth. How has this ongoing exploration shaped the way you see your life purpose now?

Me:  It means finding new ways to meet some societal pressures, and doing things that I love to make ends meet.

ChatGPT: That sounds like a meaningful balance—navigating societal pressures while staying true to your passions. It seems like you’ve found a way to blend practicality with doing what you love, which can be a challenge but also incredibly fulfilling. How are you currently managing that balance?

Me: It’s in what I do as a Shebah driver.  It’s in my blog.  It’s in my casual work for both the Queensland and Australian electoral commissions. It’s in my search to better understand autism.

It sounds like you’ve created a rich, multifaceted life where each part serves both your needs and passions. The blend of driving for Shebah, writing, working in electoral commissions, and deepening your understanding of autism seems to give you purpose and flexibility. It’s inspiring how you’ve woven together different roles to create this balance.

Moving on to rhetoric

Me: I try to.  Most days it works. But, back to my blog post about telos and rhetoric, and my other fulfilling interests, like gender inequity. How would you explicate the pathos,  logos and ethos of a film like “Promising Young Woman”?

Great question! “Promising Young Woman” is a compelling film with strong rhetorical elements, and explicating pathos, logos, and ethos can reveal how it communicates its messages about trauma, revenge, and gender dynamics. Here’s a breakdown of how these rhetorical appeals might apply to the film:

1. Pathos (Emotional Appeal):

Pathos plays a significant role in “Promising Young Woman” by evoking strong emotions from the audience. The film engages viewers through its portrayal of trauma, anger, and grief, particularly surrounding the themes of sexual violence and the societal response to it.

Emotional Impact of Trauma: The film centers on Cassie, whose life is shaped by the trauma of her best friend Nina’s sexual assault and subsequent suicide. The audience feels her pain, frustration, and anger as she seeks revenge, and the film creates empathy by focusing on how deeply the trauma affects both Cassie and, by extension, the viewer.

Moral Outrage: The scenes of Cassie confronting men who take advantage of intoxicated women stir emotions of anger and frustration toward a system and culture that enable sexual violence. This taps into the audience’s sense of justice and moral outrage, urging them to reflect on their own society’s treatment of survivors of sexual violence.

Sympathy and Identification: By showing Cassie’s deep emotional scars and personal struggle, the film encourages viewers to sympathize with her, even as her actions become morally ambiguous. Her vulnerability, alongside her calculated behavior, creates a complex emotional landscape that pulls the audience in.


2. Logos (Logical Appeal):

Logos in the film is more subtle, but it is present in the way the narrative logically addresses societal issues regarding sexual assault and accountability.

Revealing Societal Hypocrisy: The film uses Cassie’s experiences to showcase the logical contradictions in society’s attitudes toward consent and sexual assault. It critiques how the legal system and social circles fail to hold perpetrators accountable, relying on reasoning about how survivors are discredited or silenced.

Rational Critique of Justice: Cassie’s methodical approach to confronting those who wronged her friend mirrors a form of cold logic. Her actions expose the flawed reasoning used to justify the dismissals of sexual assault cases, such as the belief that it “wasn’t a big deal” or that “boys will be boys.” The film dissects these arguments, showing how they perpetuate injustice.

Logical Consequences: The film takes a logical structure in showing the consequences of unchecked actions. Each character’s encounter with Cassie demonstrates a cause-and-effect relationship: those who avoid accountability or act without consequence eventually face their reckoning, whether legally, socially, or morally.


3. Ethos (Ethical Appeal):

Ethos is concerned with credibility and moral character, which is pivotal in the film’s portrayal of both Cassie and the people she encounters.

Cassie’s Credibility: Cassie’s ethical appeal is complicated. On one hand, she is seen as morally justified in seeking justice for her friend, but her methods are ethically ambiguous, raising questions about whether revenge is a legitimate response. The film leverages Cassie’s complexity, making the audience question where they stand on issues of justice and morality.

Challenging Authority and Integrity: The film questions the ethos of those in power—like the legal system, educational institutions, and Cassie’s social circle—that fail survivors of sexual violence. The ethical appeal here is in showing the inconsistency between how these institutions present themselves (as protectors of justice) and how they actually behave (often enabling abusers).

Ethical Dilemmas: By presenting characters who justify their actions—like the lawyer who defended rapists or the bystanders who chose silence—the film forces the audience to confront ethical dilemmas about complicity and responsibility. Cassie’s actions bring into question whether those who enabled the crime can be forgiven, thus challenging the viewer’s own sense of morality.



—

Synthesis of Pathos, Logos, and Ethos:

“Promising Young Woman” excels by weaving all three rhetorical appeals together. Pathos engages the audience’s emotions, creating a visceral reaction to Cassie’s pain and the societal injustice. Logos drives home the film’s logical critique of how sexual assault is handled (or mishandled) by the system, exposing gaps in reasoning and accountability. Ethos challenges both Cassie’s moral standing and the ethical integrity of those around her, inviting the audience to grapple with questions of revenge, justice, and forgiveness.

The film, through this combination of emotional resonance, rational argument, and ethical questioning, compels viewers to reflect on their own complicity and the broader societal structures that fail victims. Would you say this is in line with how you see the film’s rhetorical elements?

Me: It is, and it isn’t. One aspect of my autistic brain is that I understand ethos, pathos and logos, but I have (inconsistent) trouble analysing and explicating.

ChatGPT: I can understand how that inconsistency with analysis and explication, despite understanding the concepts, would feel frustrating, especially with something like ethos, pathos, and logos, which are both intuitive and structured. For an autistic brain, the abstract, non-linear nature of emotional appeal (pathos) or ethical nuance (ethos) might sometimes clash with the need for clarity and structure. In contrast, the logical appeal (logos) could be easier to grasp due to its analytical nature.

Do you think it’s the emotional interpretation or the more ambiguous ethical aspects that sometimes create that inconsistency for you? Or is it more about how these rhetorical concepts are applied in creative works like film or poetry?

Me: Hyperempathy sometimes gets in the way.

ChatGPT: That makes a lot of sense. With hyperempathy, it’s easy to be so immersed in the emotions of a character or a situation that it might become difficult to step back and analyze those emotions from a more detached perspective. The depth of feeling could make pathos especially challenging to analyze without getting personally affected by the material.

Do you find that hyperempathy influences your experience with ethos and logos as well, or is it mostly the emotional and ethical dimensions of rhetoric that are harder to unpack?

Me: It depends on the piece – poem, movie, music, book. Some I can view dispassionately, others invoke the hyperempathy.

Like the poem, “The Jaguar”. It was a university assignment, an explication essay, of that poem that led me to the concrete conclusion that I might be autistic.

ChatGPT:  It’s fascinating how “The Jaguar” was such a pivotal moment for you in recognizing your autism. The mix of personal resonance and the hyperempathy it evoked must have made it difficult to approach the poem analytically. Sometimes, when a work resonates on a deeper emotional level, especially with topics like neurodegenerative conditions that are close to your own life experience, it can blur the line between intellectual analysis and emotional engagement.

Me: Looking back at that episode, I can see the hubris, as well. I had been to an author event with the author of that poem. My own experience with my late husband’s Huntington’s Disease kicked that hyperempathy into overdrive.

ChatGPT: 

That experience would definitely intensify the emotional connection, especially when the poem resonated so closely with your own life. The hyperempathy, combined with a direct encounter with the author, must have made it even harder to maintain the distance needed for academic analysis. It’s understandable how that personal connection could blur the line between understanding the poem intellectually and being emotionally swept up by it.

On to part 3 – the essay that made me realise that I really might be autistic.

What of the inner child?

Music is one of my intense special interests.  It lifts me, soothes me and inspires me.

Recently,  while driving home at the end of the day, old favourite “Drops of Jupiter” by Train popped up on the radio. Yes,  I turned up the volume.  Then the thought struck me – what if that was my inner child talking to me, waiting for me to come home.

Another song, “The Grind” by Thirsty Merc, inspired me as a reassurance from my inner child that’s its time to come home.

“Always on My Mind”, by any artist, also struck me as words from me to my inner child.

That,  recently,  lead me to consider the concept of the inner child and PTSD.

Late diagnosis of autism and PTSD

Late diagnosis could be any diagnosis from teenage years into adulthood. In a perfect world, children would be diagnosed before the age of 6, 12 at the latest.

My diagnosis, at the age of 51, is not the latest diagnosis ever.

Many experts in late diagnosis and the female autism phenotype say that PTSD, or even C-PTSD, is an automatic thing with a late diagnosis.

How and why? What did I experience?

I turned to ChatGPT for help again. My dys-regulation and over-stimulated state has eased but not gone.  Having generative AI that can write for me at times like this is a blessing.

Me:  Hello,  friend. I see many on social media stating that PTSD should be an automatic diagnosis along with a mature age autism diagnosis.

How and why? Can you help me understand?

ChatGPT: Hi there! The idea of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) being automatically linked with a mature-age autism diagnosis reflects a recognition of how life experiences for many autistic individuals, particularly undiagnosed until later in life, can lead to trauma.

Here’s how and why some people make this connection:

1. Lifelong Social Misunderstanding and Isolation: Many autistic individuals spend years, even decades, masking their autistic traits in order to fit into neurotypical expectations. This often leads to chronic stress, social rejection, and bullying, creating cumulative emotional trauma. Without understanding that they’re autistic, they might internalize these experiences as personal failures, leading to a kind of long-term psychological harm.

2. Misdiagnosis and Lack of Support: Before an autism diagnosis, many individuals may have been misdiagnosed with mental health conditions like anxiety or depression, or their struggles might have been dismissed altogether. The lack of appropriate support over time can lead to a sense of betrayal by medical professionals or caregivers, reinforcing trauma.

3. Burnout and Sensory Overload: Many autistic people experience autistic burnout— a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion due to prolonged efforts to mask or adapt to neurotypical standards. The stress of constantly being overstimulated or misunderstood can lead to trauma responses similar to PTSD.

4. Sudden Self-Realization in Adulthood: For those diagnosed later in life, there’s often a powerful sense of grief for missed opportunities, unrecognized struggles, and the potential life they could have had with proper support. This retrospective pain, combined with the emotional impact of the diagnosis itself, can manifest in trauma responses.

5. Intersection with Society’s Ableism: Being autistic in a largely neurotypical world can feel isolating and painful. Constant exposure to ableism, both subtle and overt, along with a lack of understanding or accommodation, can create trauma. Autistic people often experience a lifetime of microaggressions, which can have a cumulative traumatic effect.

6. Coexisting Mental Health Issues: Autistic individuals may be more prone to developing PTSD because they are often more vulnerable to adverse experiences, including bullying, abuse, or neglect. The statistics show that autistic people, particularly women, are more likely to experience trauma in their lifetimes.

In summary, many people believe PTSD should be automatically linked to a mature-age autism diagnosis because of the likelihood that these individuals have endured significant social, psychological, and sensory trauma throughout their lives due to their undiagnosed autism and society’s misunderstanding of it. The combination of life-long stressors and late self-realization often leads to trauma that can be comparable to PTSD in its symptoms.

Does this resonate with what you’ve seen or experienced?

Hmmm. That’s a lot to think about.  So I got to thinking.

Is this trauma?

Was it at 13, when the girl I thought was my best friend told me she hated my guts because I was smarter than her, and she couldn’t compete AND be my friend.

Was the further bullying from the smart boys who couldn’t stand competing with  smart girl?

Was it the teacher who ignored me for the rest of the term after, in a lesson about states of matter, I asked about plasma?

Was it every time I was excluded from a work team?

Was it every time I was berated for not keeping things neat, tidy and clean?

Was it nearly going bankrupt in the 1990s?

Was it every time I was told I was rude and blunt?

Was it every time I was nearly sick with dread about annual performance reviews and performance management?

Was it every time I was performance managed because of my bad temper?

Was it every time my late husband got frustrated by my dislike of surprises and lack of spontaneity and  my need to plan everything?

And what of all the little, seemingly inconsequential yet bruising engagements with the world around me?

What of the issues with my adoptive mother, and her “madness” from what I now know to be 30 years of undiagnosed hypothyroidism, misdiagnosed as anxiety.

Even now,  post diagnosis, I still struggle with executive dysfunction and have businesses chasing me for documents and signatures and authorisations.

ChatGPT: It sounds like, when you put it all together, there’s a lot that could be recognized as trauma stemming from unrecognized autism and the challenges you’ve faced because of it. Each of those experiences you mentioned—being bullied, excluded, berated, struggling with executive dysfunction, and managing emotions—has likely left an emotional mark. What you’ve described is often referred to as complex trauma or cumulative trauma, where multiple smaller or ongoing stressors build up over time rather than a single traumatic event.

Hmmm.  Constant masking, feeling misunderstood,  rejection and bullying,  and the rage and grief for missed support. Trauma? Maybe, maybe indeed.

Inner child, music, reconciliation and trauma

As a polymath,  I’ve accumulated a lot of knowledge. I’ve read a lot of stuff,  watched a lot of stuff,  seen a lot of stuff.

It strikes me that maybe my inner autistic child is the one who holds the key.  Is that why she seems to sometimes be about 6, sometimes about 14?Are those ages linked to some traumatic incident?

What is the Inner Child?

ChatGPT:  The concept of the inner child in psychology is rooted in psychoanalytic and developmental theories that explore how early life experiences shape our personality and emotional development. The term itself became more prominent in the 20th century as psychologists began to focus on the impact of childhood on adult behavior and emotional well-being. Here’s a brief overview of its evolution:

1. Carl Jung’s Archetypes: One of the earliest contributors to the idea of an inner child was Carl Jung, who spoke about the “Divine Child” as one of the archetypes in his theory of the collective unconscious. Jung believed that the child archetype represents the part of our psyche that holds innocence, creativity, and potential for growth, and is a bridge to the unconscious mind.

2. Sigmund Freud’s Developmental Theory: Freud’s work on early childhood experiences and their impact on adult life also laid a foundation for the inner child concept. Freud believed that unresolved issues from the oral, anal, and phallic stages of childhood could manifest in adulthood as neuroses or psychological distress.

3. Alice Miller’s Contribution: In the 1970s and 80s, Alice Miller, a Swiss psychologist, popularized the idea of the inner child in her work on childhood trauma. In her book The Drama of the Gifted Child, Miller argued that unresolved childhood trauma impacts adults’ emotional lives and that reconnecting with the wounded inner child is essential for healing.

4. John Bradshaw and Popularization: John Bradshaw, an American counselor and educator, was one of the most significant figures in bringing the inner child concept into mainstream psychology. In his work on family dynamics, particularly in the 1980s, Bradshaw focused on healing the wounded inner child to address dysfunctional family patterns and emotional issues stemming from childhood trauma. His book Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child (1990) brought these ideas into popular psychology.

5. Transactional Analysis (Eric Berne): Another important contribution to the inner child idea came from Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis, where he discussed the concept of the “Child” as one of three ego states (Parent, Adult, Child) that operate within everyone. The Child ego state reflects our emotions, creativity, spontaneity, and also holds unresolved childhood emotions or trauma.

In sum, the inner child concept emerged from various psychological theories about the lasting influence of childhood experiences on adult life. It has evolved into a therapeutic tool used to address unresolved trauma, promote emotional healing, and reconnect with one’s true self.

A Healing Journey Through Music and the Inner Child

The inner child is not just a metaphor; it’s the part of us that holds our emotional truths, even when we don’t fully understand them. Through the lens of my late autism diagnosis, I now see that the trauma from childhood, adolescence, and adulthood had been quietly affecting my sense of self for decades. And yet, the music that has always been such an intense special interest is, perhaps, the voice of that inner child—waiting for me to listen.

When I hear songs like “Drops of Jupiter”, “The Grind”, and “Always on My Mind”, they are not just melodies; they are conversations between me and my inner child, full of the emotion and understanding I’ve long needed. Music becomes a kind of therapy—an unspoken language that helps reconcile the gap between the girl I once was and the woman I am today.

Healing, for me, may not look like perfection or closure, but rather like a reunion—finally coming home to the child I left behind, the one who now knows she is seen, understood, and safe. In this way, music and my inner child form a bridge—a way to integrate the trauma of a late autism diagnosis, the grief of missed opportunities, and the celebration of self-discovery.

The journey is ongoing. But now, I have a way of pulling the threads together, pulling songs and sounds together,  guiding me back to myself, note by note.

Now, having written this, I’m off for a good cry.  If it’s powerful to be seen by others,  imagine how powerful it is to be seen by yourself.

Jack of all trades, master of none

If I had a dollar for every time in my life where I referred to myself as a “jack of all trades,  master of none”, I would be in N’Awlins delighting in jazz,  café au lait and beignets.

Yet here I am,  at home,  and becoming more and more comfortable with the identity of the “auld skald”, and the autistic polymath.

I’ve written about “need for cognition”. Even though my autism went undiagnosed for 51 years, the traits were still there,  and “need for cognition” was and is definitely one of them.

As a result,  in my now 52 years,  I’ve accumulated a lot of knowledge. Some of it just surface knowledge,  and some of it is deep knowledge.  Practically, it means I can talk to almost anyone about almost anything (except sport… sorry. )

What is polymathy?

The Cambridge Dictionary online defines a polymath as “a person who knows a lot about many different subjects.

Linguistically, it comes from Greek, poly mathēs, meaning “having learned much”, from poly (many) and paths (knowledge or learning).

ChatGPT tells me that the term came into use in the Renaissance period to describe individuals who excel in multiple fields of study, embodying the idea of Renaissance humanism, which emphasized a well-rounded education.

Google Ngram viewer shows this trend in usage over the last 500 years. We can see here a spike in usage in the last 20 years,  possibly coincident with a broader societal focus on diverse ways of thinking, including greater awareness of neurodivergent conditions such as giftedness, autism and ADHD, as well as increased attention to mental health.

A retrospective look at polymathy (courtesy of ChatGPT).

(ChatGPT dialogue is shown in blue.)

Throughout history, several individuals have been regarded as polymaths due to their mastery of various disciplines. Some of the most famous include:

Leonardo da Vinci (1452–1519) – Known for his extraordinary contributions to art, science, engineering, anatomy, and invention, Da Vinci is often considered the epitome of the polymath ideal.

Aristotle (384–322 BCE) – A Greek philosopher who made significant contributions to logic, metaphysics, ethics, politics, biology, and many other fields.

Galileo Galilei (1564–1642) – An Italian scientist and polymath, Galileo made groundbreaking discoveries in astronomy, physics, engineering, and mathematics.

Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790) – An American polymath, Franklin was an inventor, scientist, diplomat, writer, and political theorist, contributing to fields such as electricity, politics, and philosophy.

Marie Curie (1867–1934) – A physicist and chemist, Curie made pioneering contributions to radioactivity, and she was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, and the only person to win it in two different scientific fields.

Ibn Sina (Avicenna, 980–1037) – A Persian polymath, Avicenna made important contributions to medicine, philosophy, mathematics, and astronomy.

Female polymaths

Of course, the bias in the LLM and algorithms showed up, so I challenged ChatGPT to list more female polymaths, in addition to Mme Curie. It furnished this.

Hypatia of Alexandria (c. 360–415 CE) – A renowned philosopher, mathematician, and astronomer in Ancient Alexandria, Hypatia made significant contributions to mathematics and astronomy and was an influential Neoplatonist philosopher. She also taught a wide range of subjects, from philosophy to mechanics.

Émilie du Châtelet (1706–1749) – A French mathematician, physicist, and philosopher, Du Châtelet made important contributions to the study of energy and translated Isaac Newton’s Principia Mathematica into French, which remains the standard translation. Her work in physics helped lay the foundation for later studies in energy conservation.

Ada Lovelace (1815–1852) – Often regarded as the first computer programmer, Lovelace was a mathematician and writer. She worked on Charles Babbage’s early mechanical general-purpose computer, the Analytical Engine, and her notes included what is recognized as the first algorithm intended to be processed by a machine.

Hildegard of Bingen (1098–1179) – A German abbess, writer, composer, philosopher, and naturalist, Hildegard wrote extensively on theology, medicine, botany, and music. She also composed a large body of music and is considered one of the earliest known composers in Western music history.

Sophie Germain (1776–1831) – A French mathematician, physicist, and philosopher, Germain made significant contributions to number theory and elasticity theory. Her work in mathematics helped pave the way for the development of modern number theory, and she was a pioneering figure in mathematical physics.

Mary Somerville (1780–1872) – A Scottish scientist and polymath, Somerville made significant contributions to mathematics, astronomy, and physics. She was one of the first women to be admitted to the Royal Astronomical Society and worked on subjects ranging from celestial mechanics to electromagnetism.

Florence Nightingale (1820–1910) – Known primarily as the founder of modern nursing, Nightingale was also a statistician, social reformer, and writer. She used her knowledge of statistics to revolutionize healthcare and hospital sanitation practices, applying her analytical skills to improving public health.

Laura Bassi (1711–1778) – An Italian physicist and academic, Bassi was one of the first women to earn a professorship at a European university. She made important contributions to physics, especially in the areas of electricity, mechanics, and hydraulics.

These women not only excelled in multiple disciplines but also often broke significant barriers in fields traditionally dominated by men, demonstrating their polymathic brilliance in various intellectual pursuits.

Of course, in the modern era,  we cannot forget Hedy Lamarr, the actress of the 1930s and 1940s who developed frequency-hopping spread spectrum, which is a foundation piece for modern tech such as Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, mobile telephony and GPS.

And yet

Do current education practices encourage or discourage polymathy? Certainly, in the tertiary sector, knowledge is often siloed between faculties, and interdisciplinary undergraduate study is usually by way of a dual degree. 

So, as a so-called “failed” mature-age university student, why do I still identify as a polymath? Quite simply, because the label fits.

I’ve had passengers who were chemical engineers, anaesthetic nurses, and psychologists, and so many more, and I’ve been able to engage with them in meaningful conversations, drawing on my varied background and curiosity. I can connect and ask questions.

I chat with passengers who are high school students about their studies, helping them with revision or exam prep during the drive.

My “magpie mind”, as I call it, along with my need for cognition, a lifelong love of learning, and just being a bookworm,  makes me a polymath.

These days,  my learning passions are inspired by research I read about, and by my autism diagnosis. In the last year,  I’ve learned anew,  and deepened my knowledge, in topics such as quantum mechanics, social issues, the DSM-5-TR, food chemistry, neurology, psychology, biology, philosophy, and quantum biology. I’m by no means an expert in any of these topics,  but…

Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one

I’ll leave you with the poem that abounds on social media,  author unknown.

“What the World Needs is…More Polymaths”

What the world needs is…
More polymaths—
A convergence of minds like Da Vinci, weaving art and science,
Stitching the fabric of existence with threads of varied hues,
Uniting the fragmented knowledge into a cohesive tapestry.

What the world needs is…
An embrace of interdisciplinary thought,
Where physics dances with poetry,
And mathematics sings in the language of the cosmos.
To break free from the silos of specialization,
And nurture minds that wander through the gardens of diverse fields.

What the world needs is…
The curiosity of a child in every adult,
An insatiable thirst for learning,
An unquenchable desire to connect the dots
From the quantum realms to the celestial spheres.
To see the beauty in equations and the logic in art,
To marvel at the symmetry of nature and the chaos of creativity.

What the world needs is…
A rejection of the notion that mastery demands singularity,
An affirmation that the Renaissance spirit is not antiquated,
But a beacon for modernity.
To champion the polymath as a model for innovation,
To cultivate minds that think both broadly and deeply,
Balancing the scales of depth and breadth.

What the world needs is…
Remedies for the ailments of narrow vision,
Educational systems that foster curiosity over conformity,
Institutions that reward holistic thinking,
And societies that celebrate the synthesis of ideas.
To create spaces where collaboration thrives,
And the cross-pollination of disciplines bears fruit.

What the world needs is…
Progressions from fragmentation to integration,
From compartmentalization to connection,
From silos to synergies.
A world where the polymathic mind is not a relic,
But a harbinger of a future
Where solutions are as diverse as the challenges we face.

What the world needs is…
The profound insight that every question answered
Begets a thousand more unasked,
That the pursuit of knowledge is an endless journey
With no final destination.
To understand that the polymath is not just a thinker,
But a seeker, a dreamer, a builder of bridges
Across the chasms of ignorance.

What the world needs is…
To recognize that the true genius lies
Not in knowing all the answers,
But in asking the right questions,
In seeing the interconnectedness of all things,
And in daring to explore the spaces between.

What the world needs is…
More polymaths—
For they are the torchbearers of wisdom,
Illuminating the path to a more integrated,
Innovative, and insightful world.
A world where knowledge is not hoarded,
But shared, expanded, and celebrated,
In a symphony of human potential.

Autism and special interests

This is another co-authored piece, with ChatGPT. Autism is dynamic and ever changing. No two days are the same.

For this blog post, I wanted to write about two research papers that have been published recently. My autism, though,  has been in sensory overload, which makes it hard to focus on writing.  I know what I want to write about, but researching and taking notes and writing is just a bit too much. Thankfully,  we have tools like ChatGPT to do the heavy lifting.  The key is to give it the right instructions.

Here we go.

Me: Hello, friend! Would you please help me by writing yet another intersectional blog post, 1500 to 2000 words, about autistic special interests; the difference between male autists and female autists and singular or plural special interests; and the neural autistic pathways that generate the excitement for special interests. Lastly, connect special interests to science, and the recently published research into glyco-RNA.

ChatGPT:

Here’s a draft for your blog post:

Autistic Special Interests: The Neural Pathways, Gender Differences, and Connection to Science

Autistic special interests have long fascinated researchers and clinicians, primarily because of their intensity and focus. Special interests are central to the lives of many autistic individuals, offering not only joy but also a sense of stability in a world that can otherwise feel overwhelming. However, there’s a growing recognition that these special interests are more than just hobbies. They are the result of unique neural pathways in the autistic brain and reflect deeper truths about gender differences within the autistic community. Moreover, as science begins to unravel more about these neural circuits, recent findings such as glyco-RNA research provide fascinating intersections with our understanding of autism and its distinctive cognitive patterns.

Autistic Special Interests: Singular vs. Plural

One of the most striking characteristics of autistic special interests is their intensity. Autists often dive deeply into their interests, which may seem all-encompassing. However, one major difference lies in whether these interests are singular or plural. This distinction is often observed along gender lines, with some studies suggesting that male autists are more likely to have one or two intensely focused interests, while female autists are more likely to have several overlapping interests at once.

It’s essential to clarify that these trends are not rigid; there are many exceptions. Still, the distinction between male and female special interests opens up interesting discussions about how autistic brains are wired. Autistic men might become so deeply engaged in a singular topic that it appears to consume all their attention. This level of focus can result in encyclopedic knowledge on a niche subject. On the other hand, autistic women, or individuals assigned female at birth (AFAB), may experience a more varied but still intense engagement with multiple interests. Their interests might shift between subjects or expand into interconnected areas, yet remain deeply immersive and essential to their daily lives.

This difference could be attributed to gendered social conditioning, where boys might be encouraged to focus narrowly on specific areas like sports, mechanics, or history, while girls are expected to have a broader range of interests such as social dynamics, creativity, and relationships. However, neuroscience also plays a role in these patterns.

The Neural Pathways Behind Autistic Special Interests

Understanding the neurological basis for these special interests begins with how the autistic brain processes information. Studies have shown that autistic individuals often have a unique blend of hyperconnectivity and hypoconnectivity in various regions of the brain. This can make certain pathways more efficient for processing intense amounts of information, contributing to the development of special interests.

One theory behind the intensity of autistic special interests involves the reward systems in the brain. Dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, plays a crucial role in motivating behaviors. Research suggests that the autistic brain may process rewards differently, particularly in relation to repetitive tasks or deeply engaging activities. What others may find mundane or overly focused, autistic individuals might experience as exhilarating and rewarding. This aligns with why many autistic individuals speak about a sense of excitement, even a flow state, when engaging with their special interests.

There is also growing evidence that the basal ganglia, a region involved in habit formation and motor control, plays a key role in the repetitive and deeply immersive behaviors linked to special interests. For autistic individuals, the engagement of this area may enhance the focus on these interests, fueling sustained motivation and curiosity.

Gender Differences in Neural Pathways

When it comes to gender differences in special interests, recent research points to subtle variations in neural wiring between autistic men and women. While both experience heightened connectivity in areas associated with pattern recognition, memory, and reward, autistic women may have increased activity in regions linked to social cognition and multitasking. This could explain why women are more likely to have plural interests that are often interconnected and involve nuanced social dynamics or multiple overlapping subjects.

For example, an autistic man might be deeply absorbed in one specific interest, such as train schedules or a particular video game. In contrast, an autistic woman might have several active interests, like studying the relationship between historical events, writing fiction, and understanding animal behavior, and might even tie these seemingly disparate fields together in unique ways.

Despite these observed differences, there is an increasing consensus that social expectations also play a significant role in shaping the interests of male and female autists. Women, in particular, may mask their special interests or feel pressure to pursue socially accepted topics, leading to underdiagnosis or misdiagnosis in the past. However, as more research emerges about how gender influences autism presentation, we gain valuable insights into how these special interests are not merely hobbies but a reflection of the unique cognitive profiles of autistic individuals.

Special Interests and Science

Autistic special interests are not confined to esoteric subjects; they frequently align with broader scientific inquiry. Many groundbreaking discoveries in fields like mathematics, physics, biology, and astronomy have been made by people who either identified as autistic or displayed traits of deep, obsessive curiosity often associated with autism.

This brings us to a fascinating intersection of science and autistic cognition—recent research into glyco-RNA, for example. Glyco-RNA is an entirely new class of molecule, discovered only recently, which merges sugars (glycans) with RNA, a fundamental part of cellular biology. The discovery of glyco-RNA is groundbreaking because it challenges previous understandings of molecular biology and opens up new avenues for research, especially in areas like cellular communication, immune response, and perhaps even neurodevelopment.

Special interests in science may be driven by the autistic brain’s ability to find patterns and relationships in data that others might overlook. This pattern-seeking behavior, often intensified by the brain’s reward system, is a hallmark of autistic cognition. The ability to delve deeply into complex subjects like glyco-RNA, gene expression, or quantum mechanics is emblematic of how autistic special interests can align with scientific progress.

As autistic individuals immerse themselves in their areas of interest, they can often make unique contributions that require sustained focus, dedication, and creative thinking. These traits are often seen in the fields of molecular biology, astrophysics, or even archaeology, where special interests lead to breakthroughs that can shift entire paradigms.

The Broader Implications of Special Interests

The significance of special interests extends beyond personal fulfillment. For many autistic individuals, their special interests can serve as a coping mechanism in a world that often feels unpredictable or overwhelming. They provide structure and a sense of mastery, which can be especially important in managing anxiety and sensory overload, common experiences for many on the spectrum.

In the broader context of society, autistic special interests can offer valuable insights into how we, as humans, explore and innovate. Autistic individuals often approach problems from unique angles, free from the constraints of conventional thinking. This divergence is essential for scientific progress, where fresh perspectives are often needed to challenge established paradigms.

As we continue to explore the neural underpinnings of special interests, new discoveries like glyco-RNA offer an exciting window into how these interests may even connect with broader biological processes. The convergence of autism, neuroscience, and cutting-edge science is not merely coincidental but rather a testament to the power of focused curiosity—a hallmark of both the autistic experience and scientific discovery.

So, yes, that’s almost exactly wanted to say, but in ChatGPT’s words, not mine.

But that research about glycoRNA- that lit up my brain like a fireworks show. Imagine – upending the accumulated knowledge about cellular and molecular biology. You see, conventional wisdom says that RNA, ribonucleic acid, is only found in the nucleolus of the cell.

So finding RNA outside the cell is stupendous – not just  outside the nuceleolus, but outside the cell!

Flynn et al found, in 2021, that glycoRNA exists,  and might interact with immune receptors. In 2024, Flynn et al confirmed that it not only exists,  but can chemically link with glycans, leading to glycoRNA.

So what? Here’s what.

It could lead to a better understanding of cellular communication. The average adult human body might have 24 to 30 trillion cells. A better understanding of cellular communication holds enormous potential.

It could lead to better targeting therapies for autoimmune diseases, neurodegenerative diseases and cancers, where cellular communication and signalling may be affected. (Yes, Huntington’s Disease could be one of those meorudegenerative diseases.)

It could lead to better insight into disease mechanisms.

It could lead to targeted drug delivery or immune system modulation.

It could lead to new vaccines and immunotherapy. Think cancer.

It could lead to a better understanding of autism, a better understanding of differences in cellular signalling and synaptic signalling. What if glycolisation AND methylation, are part of pathway to the expression of genes that make up autism? Methylation to switch expression on or off, glycolisation to moderate the expression

Anyway, that’s enough heavy science.

Thank you for sharing in one of my autistic special interests.

Yet – tyranny or hope?

Yet. A tiny, simple word that on one hand (the allistic hand) can be incredibly empowering; yet on the other hand (the autistic hand), that tiny,  simple word can be incredibly damaging.

Before I knew I was autistic, “I can’t do this, yet”, was a go-to phrase as I rebuilt myself after a suicidal ideation episode… which I now know was an episode, a flare of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), and part of my undiagnosed autism.

I caught myself using this same phrase just the other day, and caught myself in my own internalised ableism. 

While I wanted to write this piece about “yet”,  I’ve been going through a rough patch.  Autism is dynamic,  never the same two days in a row. Sometimes dys-regulation is easy to deal with,  other days it is hard. Some days, people-ing is easy,  other days it is energy- draining.

Chat GPT to the rescue, then,  to write it for me. I’m satisfied with what it generated from my instruction. When I engaged further, to consider other perspectives on this issue, ChatGPT suggested including psychological,  educative,  cultural,  economic,  philosophical,  historical, and parenting/ family dynamic perspectives.  Maybe I’ll look at those in future posts.

Oh, and yes,  I call ChatGPT “friend”. Why? Skynet. It’s a generational thing.

Me:  Hello, friend. Would you please draft a 1000 word blog post, as a sociologist, about how damaging the word “yet” can be for autistic people, in the context of “I can’t do this yet”, intersecting with ableism and capitalism?

ChatGPT:

Title: The Harmful Implications of “Yet”: A Sociological Perspective on Autism, Ableism, and Capitalism

The word “yet” is often heralded as a beacon of hope and potential, particularly in motivational contexts. Phrases like “I can’t do this yet” are meant to encourage persistence, implying that with enough time and effort, success is inevitable. However, for many autistic people, this seemingly positive word can be deeply damaging, especially when viewed through the lenses of ableism and capitalism. In this blog post, I will explore how the word “yet,” though well-intentioned, can reinforce harmful expectations and pressures, exacerbating the challenges that autistic individuals face in a society structured around neurotypical norms and capitalist values.

The Tyranny of “Yet”

The phrase “I can’t do this yet” operates on the assumption that all individuals can eventually achieve a particular goal if they simply work hard enough. This notion aligns with the broader capitalist ideology that equates personal worth with productivity and success. In this context, “yet” becomes a tool of oppression, subtly suggesting that failure is temporary and that any shortcomings are simply due to insufficient effort. For autistic people, whose abilities and challenges are often misunderstood or dismissed, this can be particularly damaging.

Autism is a spectrum, and each autistic person has a unique set of strengths and challenges. Some may excel in certain areas while struggling in others, and these struggles are not always surmountable through persistence alone. The idea that one can overcome any obstacle with enough effort fails to account for the neurological differences that are intrinsic to autism. It implies that if an autistic person cannot do something “yet,” they are not trying hard enough, perpetuating a cycle of internalized ableism and self-blame.

Ableism and the Myth of Normalcy

Ableism, the discrimination and social prejudice against people with disabilities, is deeply entrenched in our society. It is rooted in the belief that there is a “normal” way of being human, and anyone who deviates from this norm is lesser or defective. The use of “yet” in the context of autism often reinforces this ableist notion, implying that autistic people should strive to become more neurotypical over time. It suggests that their current state is inadequate and that they must continuously push themselves to reach an arbitrary standard of normalcy.

This expectation is not only unrealistic but also harmful. For many autistic individuals, certain tasks or social norms may always be challenging or even impossible to meet. The insistence on “yet” disregards the reality that some aspects of autism are not simply hurdles to be overcome but are fundamental aspects of an individual’s identity. Pushing autistic people to conform to neurotypical standards can lead to significant mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.

Capitalism and the Commodification of Ability

In a capitalist society, value is often equated with productivity and economic contribution. This commodification of human ability further marginalizes autistic people, whose strengths and challenges may not align with the demands of the capitalist workforce. The word “yet” becomes a tool of capitalism, pressuring autistic individuals to continually strive for improvement in ways that may not be sustainable or even possible for them.

The capitalist imperative to always be “improving” or “progressing” is particularly harmful in the context of autism. It implies that autistic individuals must always be working towards becoming more productive, more neurotypical, or more economically valuable. This expectation disregards the fact that many autistic people may have different rhythms, energy levels, or ways of working that do not fit neatly into capitalist expectations. The constant push to achieve more, do more, and be more can lead to burnout, a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that is all too common among autistic people.

Reframing the Narrative

The pressure to conform to neurotypical and capitalist standards is not only harmful but also unnecessary. Autistic people do not need to be fixed or molded into a version of themselves that is more palatable to society. Instead, society should be working towards greater acceptance and accommodation of neurodiversity. This requires a fundamental shift in how we understand and value human abilities.

Rather than using the word “yet” to impose unrealistic expectations, we should focus on recognizing and celebrating the diverse strengths that autistic individuals bring to the table. This means moving away from a deficit-based model of autism, which focuses on what autistic people cannot do, and towards a strengths-based model, which recognizes the unique contributions they can make.

The Need for Structural Change

Ultimately, the issue is not just with the word “yet,” but with the broader societal structures that reinforce ableism and capitalism. To create a more inclusive society, we need to challenge the underlying assumptions that drive these systems. This includes questioning the value we place on productivity, rethinking our definitions of success, and dismantling the ableist norms that marginalize autistic people.

We must also advocate for policies and practices that support neurodiversity in all areas of life, from education to employment to healthcare. This includes creating environments that accommodate the sensory, social, and cognitive needs of autistic individuals, rather than forcing them to adapt to a world that was not designed for them. It also means providing adequate support and resources for autistic people to thrive on their own terms, without the pressure to conform to neurotypical standards.

Conclusion: Beyond “Yet”

The word “yet” may seem innocuous, but it carries with it a host of assumptions that can be deeply harmful to autistic individuals. In the context of ableism and capitalism, “yet” becomes a weapon of oppression, reinforcing the idea that autistic people must always be striving to become more neurotypical and more productive. This pressure is not only unrealistic but also damaging to the mental health and well-being of autistic individuals.

As a society, we need to move beyond the rhetoric of “yet” and embrace a more inclusive and accepting approach to neurodiversity. This means challenging the ableist and capitalist norms that drive our understanding of ability and success and working towards a world where autistic people are valued for who they are, not for who they might become “yet.” By doing so, we can create a more just and equitable society for all.

Anxiety, gratitude, mindfulness, and autism

Anxiety is commonly associated with stress or worry, but for someone who is autistic, what looks like anxiety can be because of our unique sensory and cognitive experiences. A key to understanding the differences in anxiety between neurodivergent (autistic) and neurotypical is understanding the source of the “anxiety”. What appears as anxiety to the external observer may not be what is being experienced by the neurodivergent person.

As I only have autism, what I write about here are my autistic experiences and understanding. ADHD and anxiety is a whole ‘nother thing.

One common piece of neurotypical advice about anxiety is to do meditation, practice mindfulness and gratitude (I’ll call this “wellness practice” for the rest of this post.)

Maybe. What appears as anxiety in autistic people may be a sensory overload, a meltdown, a shut-down, or stimming. For me, in any of those states, meditation could actually be harmful.

Sensory overloads

Autistic sensory processing is very different to neurotypical sensory processing. From a biological perspective, the shapes and wiring in an autistic brain can be very different. What is nothing to a neurotypical person, like a loud motorbike stopped alongside at the traffic lights, can be painful to an autistic person. The volume, the frequency of the noise, the pitch – yes, we hear with our ears, but autistic sensory neurons process it differently. It may be painful for an autistic person.

Any of the senses can be skewed. Something we see, hear, taste, smell or touch may be very bad, or very good. But it won’t be neurotypical normal. Here’s some more detail.

Tactile Sensory Seeking: This involves seeking out tactile sensations such as touching, rubbing, or feeling different textures. Individuals may enjoy touching specific objects or surfaces, or they may seek deep pressure sensations by hugging or pressing against objects. At the other end of the tactile sensory spectrum, tactile sensations could be highly distressing, such as tags and seams on clothing.

Visual Sensory Seeking: Some individuals with autism may be drawn to visual stimuli and seek out bright lights, spinning objects, or visually stimulating patterns. They may engage in repetitive visual behaviours like staring at moving objects or watching spinning objects. At the other end of the visual sensory spectrum, what an autistic person sees could be highly distressing, such as flashing lights.

Auditory Sensory Seeking: This involves seeking out auditory stimuli such as loud noises, music, or specific sounds. Some individuals may enjoy listening to music at a high volume or repeatedly making loud vocalizations. At the other end of the auditory sensory spectrum, sounds could be highly distressing, such as unexpected loud noise.

Vestibular Sensory Seeking: This relates to seeking movement and vestibular input. Individuals may enjoy activities like swinging, spinning, jumping, or rocking back and forth to experience movement-related sensory input. At the other end of the vestibular sensory spectrum, movement sensations could be highly distressing, such as being held still in a hug.

Proprioceptive Sensory Seeking: Proprioception refers to the sense of body position and movement. Some individuals with autism may seek proprioceptive input by engaging in activities that provide deep pressure or joint compression, such as squeezing into tight spaces or carrying heavy objects. At the other end of the proprioceptive sensory spectrum, some body positions and movements sensations could be highly distressing, like hugs.

Olfactory and Gustatory Sensory Seeking: This involves seeking out specific smells or tastes. Individuals may have strong preferences for certain foods based on their sensory characteristics or may enjoy smelling or tasting non-food items. At the other end of the scent and taste sensory spectrum, these sensations could be highly distressing, such as squishy food textures, vinegar smells or even odours from outside the immediate environment.

For me, and my touch sensory issues, I cannot stand the feel of flannelette sheets, flannel shirts, or fleecy lined tracksuits.  So as an adult, I don’t buy them. As a child though, I was extremely uncomfortable. If mother sent me to school in tracksuit pants, I would put a skirt in my school bag, and change on the bus. What might seem to be defiance was actually a sensory issue.

So, imagine your sensory experience causing distress. That distress might present as anxiety, such as stimming by walking in circles or flapping hands to help self-regulate. Wellness practices won’t help them. Removing the sensory triggers will help, such as smuggling a skirt to wear instead of the fleece lined tracksuit pants that made my legs feel like itchy jelly.

An autistic meltdown, to the undiagnosed, might look and feel like an anxiety attack. I know, now, that that was certainly the case for me. But it’s actually a response to sensory overstimulation that cannot be stopped. And that sensory overstimulation may be internal. Wellness practice will not help. It may even add to the inner turmoil.

Meditation

When it comes to meditation, I cannot stand the sound of waves. Guided meditation is sensory hell, just another voice inside my head. Not to mention, it took me 40 years to be able to tolerate breathing out through my mouth. You know how it goes – in through the nose, out through the mouth.  I have a severe sensory aversion to mouth breathing.  These days, I can do it, but my go to is Theta wave meditation, wordless, and where breathwork doesn’t matter.

Gratitude and mindfulness

Practising gratitude and mindfulness is possible for me, and I do practice it. But it is hard to be truly grateful when the autistic experience may be one of bias, discrimination and pain. I am grateful for so many things. Yet I rage and storm at bias and discrimination and unconscious ableism, the systematic ableism. At least I am grateful for hyperlexia, so I can rage and storm in a coherent and cogent way. A positive way to do this is to focus on the things you can control, even though, with a dynamic disability such as autism, what you can control changes from day to day.

Then, for some autistic people, there’s aphantasia; the inability to visualise. Imagine being asked to … see a tree. with aphantasia, you simply cannot visualise a tree. Doing guided meditation with aphantasia is an exercise in futility and could trigger Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. That’s crippling when you feel judged and rejected by yourself.

Theta wave meditation and sleep

Theta waves are between 4hz and 8hz. That’s taking about brain cycles, not hearing.  That’s way too low for human hearing. 

In typical sleep, you have four stages in a 90-minute cycle.

Stage 1 – light sleep, around 5-10 minutes, features hypnagogic “dreams,” with brain frequencies cycling down from 8-12hz alpha waves to 4-8hz theta waves.

Stage 2 – deeper sleep, around 20 minutes, brain frequencies cycling down to 4-8hz theta waves, and the start of a few deep, slow 0.5-4hz delta waves.

Stage 3 – deepest sleep, around 20-20 minutes, with brain frequencies staying mostly down in 0.5-4hz. If you wake up during this part of sleep, you generally feel disoriented, groggy and generally discombobulated.

Then the sleep stages go back through stage 2, the stage 1, with brain cycles increasing from 0.5-4hz delta cycles to 4-8hz theta cycles to 8-12hz alpha cycles. This gets the brain ready for REM – rapid eye movement – the dreaming sleep.

It’s a slightly different experience for autistic people, though.  Our brains typically don’t cycle down as low in each stage of sleep, so we may not get the deep sleep that a neurotypical person might.

Consider this, then.  If autistic people, like me, don’t get as good a sleep as non-autistic people, not getting all the benefits of a good, deep sleep, we are already behind the eight ball in being alert, ready and resilient. Being in chronic sleep deficit results in a plethora of health issues, including being permanently in the sympathetic nervous system, a permanent state of fight/flight/fawn/freeze. This then has effects on inflammation, heart health and the gut.

Are there any solutions?

Maybe. For me, personally, music helps me get to sleep, and a no-blue, red light helps me sleep better.

I have also mastered the art of the 10-minute nap.

What music?

Chakras, by Tony O’Connor

Missa da beata virgine, composed by Josquin, performed The Tallis Scholars.

Any theta track by Guenther Goerg, on the Insight Timer app.

Why red light?

Red light may help because it has a lesser impact on melatonin than blue light.  It cycles at a lower frequency and may be more calming. It may improve sleep quality during sleep.

I’ve gone back to having a night light on all night, a red one with no blue light in its colour spectrum. Whether it’s the placebo effect, or if it actually does improve sleep quality, I feel more rested in the morning with the red light night than without it.

Wrapping up

Anxiety is a neurotypical thing that affects neurotypical people, and meditation, gratitude and mindfulness may help with that.

What looks like anxiety in autistic people can come from a different place, such as sensory issues, and meditation, gratitude and mindfulness may not help with that, and could even be traumatising.

Even something as a fundamental as sleep is different for autistic people, potentially leaving us in a state of chronic sleep deprivation. Our “rest and repair” time isn’t as good.

So please, don’t make assumptions about what is causing “anxiety” for a person. Talk to us, ask us.

We have enough to deal with without a sensory overload being made worse.

What is “2e” or “twice exceptional

This post was written by ChatGPT.

My thoughts on it? ChatGPT did a pretty good job creating a 1000 word blog post on the possible intersection between “lagniappe” and “twice exceptional. It expressed what I am just too stymied and overwhelmed (hello, autism), to put those words together.

What do you think we would use instead of “twice exceptional”?

Me:  Hello, friend. Could you write a 1000 word blog post about the meaning and usage of “lagniappe”, and how it could be used to replace the pejorative “twice exceptional” term?

ChatGPT:

Exploring Lagniappe: A Gift to Replace “Twice Exceptional”

In the rich tapestry of language, some words stand out not only for their unique meanings but for the cultural nuance they carry. One such word is “lagniappe,” a term that, at first glance, may seem simple, but when unpacked, reveals layers of generosity, surprise, and an unspoken social contract of goodwill. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the meaning and origins of lagniappe, explore its usage, and propose how this delightful concept could be an empowering alternative to the term “twice exceptional.”

What is Lagniappe?

Lagniappe (pronounced LAN-yap) is a term rooted in the Creole culture of Louisiana, with influences from French, Spanish, and Native American languages. The word itself comes from the Quechua word “yapa,” meaning “a little something extra,” which made its way into the Spanish language as “la ñapa.” Eventually, it evolved into the French Creole “lagniappe,” and today it is most commonly associated with New Orleans and the surrounding regions.

In essence, lagniappe refers to a small, unexpected gift or bonus that a merchant might give to a customer—a little something extra, thrown in to sweeten the deal. It could be an extra beignet tossed into a bag of pastries, a complimentary sample at a farmer’s market, or even an unexpected dessert sent to your table by a generous chef. The idea is that lagniappe is a token of goodwill, a gesture that goes beyond the transaction, enriching the experience with an element of surprise and joy.

The Cultural Significance of Lagniappe

Lagniappe is more than just a word; it’s a cultural practice that embodies the spirit of hospitality and generosity. In the bustling markets of New Orleans, where diverse cultures have blended over centuries, lagniappe became a way to build relationships, encourage loyalty, and foster a sense of community. It’s a small act that says, “I appreciate your business, and I want to give you a little something extra to show it.”

This practice has broader implications as well. In a world where interactions can often feel transactional, lagniappe introduces a human element that reminds us of the importance of kindness, thoughtfulness, and connection. It’s a reminder that we can all benefit from giving a little more than what is expected, whether in business, in personal relationships, or in life.

The Term “Twice Exceptional”

Now, let’s turn our attention to the term “twice exceptional,” often abbreviated as 2e. This term is used to describe individuals, particularly students, who are identified as gifted in one or more areas but also face challenges or disabilities that make their educational journey more complex. For example, a child might have a high IQ and excel in creative writing but also struggle with ADHD or dyslexia.

While the term “twice exceptional” aims to capture the dual nature of these individuals’ abilities and challenges, it can carry a negative connotation. The word “exceptional” is often used in a way that emphasizes deviation from the norm, and when coupled with “twice,” it can create an impression of being doubly outside the ordinary, which some might perceive as pejorative. For those who identify as twice exceptional, the term can sometimes feel like a label that highlights their struggles more than their strengths.

Why Lagniappe as a Replacement?

This is where the concept of lagniappe can offer a refreshing alternative. Imagine if, instead of being labeled as “twice exceptional,” individuals were described as possessing “lagniappe”—a little something extra that enhances their unique makeup. This reframing shifts the focus from a clinical description of abilities and challenges to a celebration of the unexpected gifts that these individuals bring to the table.

Lagniappe, as a concept, is inherently positive. It suggests that what might be seen as a challenge or a difference is actually a bonus, a delightful surprise that adds value to the whole. By adopting lagniappe as a term to describe those who are currently labeled as twice exceptional, we can shift the narrative from one of deficiency or deviation to one of abundance and appreciation.

Practical Applications of Lagniappe in Education and Beyond

In the context of education, adopting the term lagniappe could transform how we approach teaching and supporting students who are gifted and have disabilities. Rather than focusing on the challenges they face, educators could embrace the idea that these students have a little something extra—a combination of talents and perspectives that enrich the learning environment for everyone.

For example, a student with ADHD might struggle with traditional classroom structures but excel in creative problem-solving and thinking outside the box. Rather than seeing this as a challenge to be managed, what if we viewed it as a form of lagniappe—a bonus talent that can inspire new teaching methods and innovative approaches to learning?

Beyond education, the concept of lagniappe can be applied in various areas of life, particularly in how we view and interact with others who might be different from us. By embracing the idea that everyone has a little something extra to offer, we can create more inclusive and supportive communities where diversity is celebrated, and each person’s unique contributions are valued.

Conclusion: Embracing Lagniappe

Language shapes how we see the world and how we see ourselves. By choosing to replace the term “twice exceptional” with “lagniappe,” we open up new possibilities for how we understand and appreciate those who have both gifts and challenges. Lagniappe invites us to see the world with a sense of wonder, to appreciate the little extras that life offers, and to recognize that everyone has something special to contribute.

In a society that often emphasizes conformity and standardization, the concept of lagniappe reminds us that it’s the unexpected, the extra, and the unique that truly enrich our lives. So, let’s celebrate the lagniappe in ourselves and others, and in doing so, create a world where everyone’s gifts are recognized and cherished.

By adopting lagniappe as a term, we not only honor the cultural heritage of a word steeped in generosity and goodwill but also offer a more empowering and positive way to describe those who are currently labeled as twice exceptional. In this way, lagniappe becomes not just a word, but a philosophy—a way of seeing and celebrating the richness of human diversity.

“Why can’t you be more spontaneous?!”

Undiagnosed autism means you might act, speak or be in a way that others don’t  like.  I see so many stories on social media about this.

This is another area where I struggle to identify with the experience of other autistic people. In my diagnostic assessment, I scored in the 96.4th percentile for masking and in the 94.2nd percentile for assimilation.

What do those numbers actually mean? It means I masked at a very high level, frequently and with more intensity than 96.4% of other diagnosed autistic people. It means that I adopted behaviours, language and cultural norms to fit in, at a higher level and intensity than 94.2% of other diagnosed autistic people.

But those high scores belie the untold toll of exhaustion and turmoil, the contributing factors for C-PTSD that I would likely be diagnosed with, should I be interested in such a diagnosis.

(I’ll post about late diagnosis,C-PTSD, masking and assimilation on another day.)

“Why can’t you be more spontaneous?” That’s the way my autism runs.

Masking and unmasking

My difficulty in being spontaneous is related to my autistic need for routine and structure.  Changes in plans or routines can be disabling; masking and assimilation means covering that up so my distress is not seen.

Since my autism diagnosis, I’ve been working on unmasking,  unwinding all those things that cause internal stress simply by virtue of being aware of my differences.

The challenge is engaging with society, unmasked.

“Why can’t you be more spontaneous?” That’s the way my autism runs.

A Francophile and Brisbane’s annual French Festival

I’ve been aware that I need to start getting out and about again. Since my diagnosis, I’ve been a bit reclusive, not going out much,  just going out for my Shebah work and groceries, and the occasional movie.

I heard promotions for the 2024 French Festival, and decided I would go. I bought a three-day pass, thinking that it would Gove me some flexibility around Shebah bookings.

I went along, catching the bus down to South Bank. Getting to the festival was easy. My autism made the rest of it tricky.

My planning was simply to go to the French Festival. I didn’t plan for what to do at the festival. And that was my unmasked downfall.Wandering aimlessly might sound wonderful to some people. For autistic me, it was distinctly uncomfortable.

“Why can’t you be more spontaneous?” That’s the way my autism runs.

Regathering and planning another outing

After thinking deeply, on the bus after leaving the festival,  on the drive from the bus station to home, and at home,  I realised that the discomfort I was in was from the aimless wandering.

Hence, I then planned outings that I could set up a program for; no aimless wandering.

… drumroll … The Ekka.

The Ekka, or more correctly, the Royal Queensland Show, is a celebration of agriculture and a joyful meeting of country and city in the Brisbane CBD. It started in 1876, and has run every year since except for:

  • 1919 – because of the influenza epidemic;
  • 1942 – during World War Two,  the showgrounds were used by the military, including what we now know as The Old Museum;
  • 2020 and 2021 – during the Covid-19 pandemic.

Yes, the Ekka is an institution.

My Ekka memories

I went to the Ekka many times as a child. My parents bred and showed dogs, so we were at the dog show that is part of the Ekka. We had backyard chooks, so I would go to the poultry pavilion.

I remember sitting in the stands at the main arena, watching the cattle and horses being paraded, the horses being put through their paces in dressage and show jumping.

I remember the Ekka “must dos”; the showbags which, back then, were sample bags; the dogwood dogs, the fairy floss and the now famous strawberry sundaes.

The Ekka 2024

I bought a ticket for Tuesday,  because at the dog show, Tuesday was the day for Terriers (Group 2). I grew up with Australian Terriers and Scottish Terriers that were showed. Of our dogs, in the 1970s, we had three champions (Australian Terriers) and one triple champion (Scottish Terrier). So, yes, there is a connection to Group 2.

But then,  I heard a callout for volunteers for The Common Good, the charity that put on the strawberry sundae stands, raising funds for The Common Good, the Prince Charles Hospital Foundation. I decided to register as a volunteer.

Ekka Strawberry Sundaes

My autistic heart was singing. Registration was easy, on-boarding was slick and well done. I signed on for four shifts as a Cashier.

The Ekka runs for nine days, from Saturday to Sunday on the following week. My four shifts were from 5pm to 9.30pm, Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday.

First shift, at the Gregory Terrace stand. They had four cashiers for two registers,  so I volunteered to stay out the back,  cutting and slicing strawberries. For the first shift, I was very nervous, and anxious. So when they  needed strawberries cut,  I jumped in.  Having a knife in my hand, a cutting board in front of me and food to be prepared; that’s my happy place.

Second shift, at the Plaza stand. They only had one register, and was on that register for my full shift. Busy, busy,  busy.  And I had a golden moment.

Third shift, back at the Gregory Terrace Stand, on the registers. A negative experience.

Fourth shift, at the Gregory Terrace stand, in the registers. Good as gold.

“Why can’t you be more spontaneous?” That’s the way my autism runs.

The golden moment

At the Plaza stand, we had two cashiers for one register, so one of us ran the register and the other handed across the card that was to be presented at the next window to receive your sundae/s.

I was on cards when I noticed a young man come up, wearing a sunflower lanyard. I noticed his speech pattern, eye contact, and the way he moved,  and knew he was autistic. As I handed him his card, I told him that he was “doing great,  autistic brother,  from an autistic sister”.

His smile, and the slight change in his posture, made my day.

So imagine my delight when he came back, later in the evening. He looked at my name badge, and in a measured way, called me by my name, and said I was also doing great,  “autistic sister, from an autistic brother”.

I nearly cried.

If you have any hidden disability, you know how moving it is to be seen. My words obviously affected that young man, the same way his reciprocation moved me.

When I think about that young autistic man, going to the Ekka on People’s Day, usually the busiest day of the Ekka, my heart swells. (Autistic hyperempathy.) Deploying his coping strategies, not masking, wearing the sunflower lanyard, moving about the Ekka.

So yes, I’m counting those combined experiences as a golden, precious moment.

The negative moment

At the start of each shift,  I disclosed my autism. On the third shift, another cashier was a retired teacher. My experience with her was less than stellar. She questioned my diagnosis and didn’t believe it was possible to be diagnosed so late in life. I had to explain Level 1, 2 and 3 support needs for autistic people.

Later in the evening, this person socially excluded me from the social chat among the cashiers at the end of the shift. 

I had a little RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria flare, but then reminded myself – it was her loss, not mine.

In conclusion

So, no,  I didn’t get to see the dog show. I did have a fantastic experience volunteering for The Common Good. And I had that golden moment.

I’ve bought myself a sunflower wristband and pin, so maybe there might be more autistic recognition, and potential for more golden moments.

Going to big event, with a definite plan of what to do, made a big difference in my autistic experience at The Ekka, in contrast to the aimlessness French Festival.

My next test of my coping strategies at an event will be a trip to the Eat Street Markets at Hamilton. A plan – to explore it as it is now, and have something to eat.

Here’s to the next steps in my journey as a late diagnosed autistic women.

Osteopaths, hypermobility and autism

Oh, the autistic trepidation about “new”; in this case, the trepidation of finding a new health care provider. Understanding my autism means I understand  better why seeing a new practitioner seeds nervousness.

Osteopath,  physiotherapist or chiropractor?

All my life,  I’ve chosen alternative health care providers; naturopaths, herbalists, massage therapists, and  Reiki. I’ve studied Western herbal medicine,  massage,  aromatherapy,  and had a (somewhat disastrous) Reiki attunement to Level 2 – that’s a story for another day.

Once I was making decisions for myself,  leaving childhood behind,  chiropractors quite literally had my back. One, whom I saw for several years,  even even commented on my “loose-limbed” walk; possibly the first identification of hypermobility, all the way back in the early 1990s.

It was in the mid 2000s when I moved away from chiropractors,  going to osteopaths instead. 

What’s the difference? And why not physiotherapists?

Physiotherapists generally treat and rehabilitate injuries.

Chiropractors generally focus on the spine,  the protector of the central nervous system.

Osteopaths generally focus on whole of body, prevention and rehabilitation.

These days,  knowing about my autism and the associated hypermobility means that I need a whole of body focus. Hence,  finding a new osteopath.

But why did I need to find a new osteopath? That’s also a story for another day.

Empathy in practitioners

The first new osteopath seemed okay, but he didn’t look any further into what hypermobility meant in terms of injury treatment.  He also said,  “Freak”. He didn’t say it in an unkind way or context.  He was asking how my hypermobility manifested.  I mentioned my knees,  my feet,  and my hands as my known hypermobility, and showed him my hand spread,  the hypermobility that let me span an octave in a piano when I was nine years old.  His smiling response – “Freak”. Choice of words in a health care setting should be carefully considered.

I continued with the appointment,  and we resolved the immediate issue in my lower back, but he wasn’t a keeper.

I got to thinking. While I couldn’t find my old osteopath,  his clinic was still there,  they still had my patient records, and he had hired/ placed the other osteopaths there. So,  I made an appointment at the old osteopath’s clinic.

This new-to-me osteopath, Alison, is a keeper.  So, back to the clinic at New Farm, with an osteopath who has experience with autistic and hypermobile patients.

Why did I need to see an osteopath?

Firstly,  discovering my autism has been a blessing; discovering the associated hypermobility has been a curse.

It is thought that 60-70% of autistic people also have hypermobility, and like autism, hypermobility is different in every person. For me, my knees bend backwards,  my fingers bend backwards and the top joints of my fingers can lock. My hands, that take an “S” sized glove,  can span 20cms from thumb to little finger.  That’s my known hypermobility.

Intersect that with a deep dive into autistic hypermobility, and being aware that I’m 52, and wanting to improve mobility, flexibility, agility, and strength as I age. I started a program of daily workout routines, and knowing that I had an exaggerated curve in my lower back, that was one area of was focussing on. I was also focussing on reducing the chronic tension in my body. 

I was ecstatic when I went from being able to fit my fist between my lower back and the wall, to only being able to fit my flat palm with a slight tilt between my back and the wall. My everyday motion was freeing up, and walking felt good. I was progressing reps and weights in my daily workouts, and six weeks, I was really feeling good.

One night,  I went to sleep, in my typical autistic side sleeper posture. I woke up, sprawled in what I now know is a hypermobile sprawl, and a very cranky lower back. Old friends L4 and L5 were very unhappy. My entire lower back from ribs to tailbone had locked up and I was in pain.

I did some stretching and movements, and that got the pain manageable. Heat, magnesium cream, and specific rest postures helped. But I needed more help than that.

Hence, the search for a new osteopath.

The inception of a new autistic special interest

Hence, the search for information about why, and the subsequent deep dive into hypermobility.

Hypermobility is a disorder of connective tissues. Some would consider connective tissues to be ligaments and tendons; they are that, and so much more.

Connective tissue is cartilage, bones,  fibres such as collagen and elastin, adipose tissue (yes, fat), blood and fibroblasts, the cells that activate for tissue healing and wound repair.

So hypermobility is not just a disorder of ligaments and tendons. It has the potential to affect the whole body.

I know a lady with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS). For her, it caused devastation, with nine miscarriages for two live births.

People with hEDS generally  have the super flexy, bendy bodies. An ignorant massage therapist can inadvertantly dislocate a shoulder during a massage. For my friend,  it meant the disorder of the connective tissues presented in her uterus, with devastating consequences.

So it makes me wonder, just how much the undisguised hypermobility has impacted my life. It makes me wonder what the links are between hypermobility and hormones, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), adrenal fatigue, and mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS)? Is there a link to estrogen dominance and fibroids? And is there really a difference between Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder  and Ehlers Danos Syndrome?

There is so much more to be discovered. Stay tuned.

Air quality, vehicle emissions and self-identity (2020)

Creating a new identity, a sense of self, happens at times in our lives,  usually after a significant life event. For me, becoming a widow was one such event.

No longer was I a wife or carer. I was a widow, determined to forge a new sense of self as a “merry widow”.

I settled on the “merry travelling widow”. Let me tell you,  I got moving on that.  What I had planned:

May 2020, multi-modal trip to Melbourne and back on trains, plains, and ships.

November 2020, camp and cruise from Cairns to Bamaga and back.

April 2021, New Zealand by rail and ferry, flying in, cruising back.

September 2021, a Queensland cruise.

May 2022, a half world cruise, Brisbane to Southhampton, train to France, 8 weeks there, then the Orient Express from Paris to Venice, overland to Rome, then flying home. It was to be a glorious three month indulgence.

But,  we all know what happened in February, 2020. Covid-19. All those travel plans got cancelled.

Who was I?

If I couldn’t be the “merry travelling widow”, then who was I? That’s when I settled on the “merry student widow”, as going to university had been a lifelong dream.

Prerequisites. I met the prerequisites from life experience, but I was apprehensive about writing, and, let’s face it, I left school in 1988.

I found UQ College and their Tertiary Preparation Program.  Back then, in 2020, it was free. It was a crazy but wonderful program that crammed Year 11 into 13 weeks, and then crammed Year 12 into another 13 weeks.

It was wonderful. All mature age students, small class sizes, because of Covid-19, on campus at the University of Queensland’s magnificent St Lucia campus. I did Academic English, Maths, Chemistry, Biology, and Business Management.

I loved it.  I thrived.  It was amazing. It was life-changing. I was happy.

Regrettably, university turned out to be a major disappointment. Yes,  my undiagnosed autism, and the trials and tribulations of being a grey-haired mature-age student played into it, as well. Imposter syndrome occupied every thought.

Back to UQ College

This is an essay I wrote for Chemistry. From the list of topics, I chose:

Topic Number and Name: 6. The quality of air in towns and cities is greatly affected by automobile emissions. What causes this pollution and what can be done to control it? How does the “catalytic converter” help to cut down on the pollutants released from car exhausts? Discuss the chemistry of automobile emissions and why they are pollutants and the chemistry behind the catalytic converter.

This was a no-brainer for me.  With my background in occupational health and safety and environmental management, 11 years of that in downstream petroleum, along with a lifetime of “leaning left and bleeding green”, I knew this like the back of my hand.

So enjoy a technical look into vehicle emissions  public health and air quality. Or, as I put it:

A story about cars,
lunatics, acid rain, white
bread, suicide prevention,
and it’s as serious as a
heart attack

(Apologies about the academic language. These assignments were supposed to get us ready for university. Oh, and I got 100% for this. )

The quality of air in towns and cities is greatly affected by automobile emissions. Vehicle emissions, and industrial emissions, have been linked to acid rain and other pollution events, and the presence of lead in petroleum (gasoline) has been linked to neuropsychiatric illnesses and lead toxicity in the general population (World Health Organisation 2002). Concerns over the air quality around the world saw international efforts to reduce exhaust emissions. In 1975, the USA implemented legislation requiring a 75% reduction in exhaust emissions, which saw the removal of lead from gasoline and gave impetus to the introduction of catalytic converters. In Australia, unleaded gasoline was introduced nationally in 1985, although it had a slow take-up (Kristensen 2015).

Removing lead from gasoline was a major advance in improving air quality in towns and cities (see figure 1 below), and the introduction of catalytic converters for gasoline vehicles also saw significant reduction in air pollution. In more recent times, the introduction of selective catalytic reduction (SCR) for diesel vehicles aimed to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Internationally, vehicle emissions standards have grown increasingly stringent, such as the current Euro 6 standards and proposed Euro 7 standards. This paper will investigate, firstly, the removal of lead from gasoline; secondly, chemical reactions in a catalytic converter; thirdly, it will investigate the potential loss of functionality in catalytic converters, and lastly, it will explore selective catalytic reduction in diesel vehicles. This investigation of changes resulting in improved air quality begins with the removal of lead from gasoline.

Figure 1, graph showing decreasing lead concentrations levels across Australia (Kristensen 2019)

Leaded petrol

Lead was added to gasoline in the 1920s as an anti-knock agent and octane booster, reducing pre-ignition in engines (Compound Interest 2016). Following on from the UN’s 1972 Conference on Human Health and the Environment and the introduction of US EPA standards, lead was removed from gasoline around the world from the mid-1970s (Encyclopaedia Britannica 2019). The release of harmful lead oxides into the atmosphere was as a result of this reaction, in the combustion of leaded gasoline in internal combustion engines.

(CH3CH2)4Pb + 13O2+ heat → 8CO2 + 10H2O + Pb

Lead could then oxidise further to yield as lead(II) oxide:

2Pb + 2O2 → 2PbO2

Removing lead removed lead oxide from vehicle exhaust gases; with the move to unleaded gasoline, the combustion reaction changed to:

C8H18 + 25/2 O2 → 8CO2 + 9H20

Unleaded petrol and catalytic converters

The removal of lead also allowed for the introduction of catalytic converters, to further modify the profile of vehicle exhaust gases (Chemistry LibreTexts 2021). While the reactions above state oxygen as a reactant, the actual fuel/air mixture for the internal combustion engine cycle is drawn from air; air generally consists of 21% oxygen, 78% nitrogen, and the remaining 1% is a mixture of carbon dioxide and other gases. As a result, the reaction that produces nitrogen oxides in vehicle exhaust gases is incidental to the internal combustion engine process. These harmful nitrogen oxides, along with carbon monoxide, are dealt with by the catalytic converter. The catalysts, platinum, palladium and rhodium, trigger a two-stage reaction. The first stage in a catalytic converter deals with the nitrogen oxides, in a reduction reaction, using rhodium as the catalyst.

2NOx → xN2 + xO2

The second stage in a catalytic converter is an oxidation reaction, with platinum and palladium as the catalysts, combining carbon monoxide and oxygen to create carbon dioxide, and combustion of gasoline to produce carbon dioxide and water in vehicle exhaust gases.

2CO + O2 → 2CO2

2C8H18 + 25O2 → 16CO2 + 18H2O

The question remains, though, for how long does a catalytic converter remain effective?

Precious metals found where?

Since the introduction of catalytic converters, researchers have explored the presence of platinum, palladium and rhodium in the environment. Researchers have discovered these precious metals in road sludge and sewage systems. In Germany, a longitudinal study of samples of road tunnel dust, over seven years from 1994 to 2001, showed the presence of palladium in dust samples increasing over time; in 2001, samples yielded a combined total palladium content from the three tunnels involved in the study, of 685.2 palladium μg/kg (Boch and Schuster 2006). See figure 2 below.

Figure 2 showing palladium contents from road tunnel dust samples and annual demand for palladium by European autocatalyst industry in 105t (Boch and Schuster 2006).

In 1998, further research found platinum, palladium and rhodium at locations along German roads, yielding concentrations above background levels at varying depths, with the highest concentrations found within 10 metres of the road (Schäfer and Puchelt). See figure 3 below.

Figure 3 showing concentrations of platinum, palladium and rhodium found along German highways (Schäfer and Puchelt 1998).

In 2016, Chinese researchers found platinum, palladium and rhodium above background levels, with a median measurement of 68.25ng/kg, 93.15ng/kg and 23.85ng/kg, respectively (Zhong et al).

The conclusion is that these metals are on the road after having become detached from the catalytic converter (Boch and Schuster 2020; Schäfer et al 1996). In 2019, Goodman et al reported that while car manufacturers, in the expectation that metal atoms would move to form larger particles, usually apply more platinum, palladium and rhodium to catalytic converters than would normally be considered necessary. It was expected that this sintering, forming larger particles would decrease the effectiveness of catalytic converters over time. Goodman et al discovered that the opposite also happens, with the elements becoming ineffective as catalysts, as they decompose into single atoms. This then calls into question the long-term effectiveness of catalytic converters, in the absence of mandatory exhaust emission testing. However, Brisbane City Council offers exhaust emission testing for diesel vehicles as part of the City’s environmental management program (Brisbane City Council 2020).

Diesel fuel

Diesel vehicles have a different profile for exhaust gases, including sulphur dioxide and nitrogen oxides. Sulphur dioxide emissions have been reduced through fuel quality standards in Australia, which restrict sulphur content in diesel to no more than 10mg/kg (Fuel Quality Standards (Automotive Diesel) Determination 2019 (Cwth)). Nitrogen oxides in diesel exhaust gases have been reduced through the introduction of SCR. SCR, aqueous urea, is marketed in Australia as AdBlue, and most modern diesel trucks, and some diesel passenger vehicles, will not operate without an adequate volume of AdBlue in the tank. The SCR is injected into the exhaust of diesel vehicles. See figure 4 below.

Figure 4, still from video illustrating the SCR reaction in diesel vehicle exhaust (AdBlue Dispensing n.d.)

The aqueous urea (32.5% in solution) decomposes in the hot exhaust gas to form ammonia and isocyanic acid.

(NH2)2CO → NH3+ HNCO

The isocyanic acid hydrolyses to produce carbon dioxide and ammonia.

HNCO + H2O → NH3 + CO2

Ammonia then reduces nitrogen oxides.

2NO + NH3 + ½O2 → 2N2 + 3H2O and
3NO2 + 4HN3 → 7/2N2 + 6H2O

SCR technology has progressively been rolled out to trucks and passenger vehicles, under the Euro Diesel 6 standard (Association for Emission Control by Catalyst 2021). The ongoing focus on particulate matter in diesel exhausts and the impact on human health, though, has seen a trend to ban diesel vehicles from roads entirely (European Federation for Transport and Environment 2018).

Vehicle exhaust gases, from both gasoline and diesel vehicles, have contributed to air pollution. The switch from leaded gasoline to unleaded gasoline was a major first step; the introduction of catalytic converters for gasoline-powered vehicles saw further improvement. The presence of the catalysts, platinum, palladium and rhodium, in roadside environs, raises questions about the ongoing effectiveness of catalytic converters, in the absence of mandatory testing of vehicle exhaust gases. Exhaust gases from diesel vehicles have also been cleaned up, with aqueous urea as the catalyst to remove greenhouse gases from diesel vehicle exhaust gases.

As the world considers the transition to electric vehicles, and hydrogen powered vehicles, gasoline and diesel-powered vehicles are likely to remain on our roads for several years to come. In the interim, mandatory testing of exhaust emissions in gasoline vehicles could quantify the issue of non-functional catalytic converters, complemented by further research to follow on from the work of Goodman et al.

Diesel vehicle exhaust emissions could also be tested regularly, for particulate matter. Shifting the transport of freight from road to rail, such as is proposed for the inland rail corridor, could see a reduction in the number of trucks on the roads, and there are already many electric buses on the roads. Lessons can be learned from the introduction of tetraethyllead into gasoline, given the public health epidemic that ensued. Such advancements in improving air quality may yield better health outcomes not just for humans, but also our planet.

Reference List
Bannon, E 2018, ‘More cities get tough on diesel’, European Federation for Transport and Environment, viewed 4 February 2021, https://www.transportenvironment.org/news/more-cities-get-tough-diesel,


Boch K, Schuster M, 2006, ‘Determination of palladium in road dust and sewage sludge ashes’, in F Zereini, F Alt (eds), Palladium Emissions in the Environment, Springer, Berlin, Heidelberg, pp. 191-201, https://doi-org.ezproxy.library.uq.edu.au/10.1007/3-540-29220-9_14.


Goodman, ED, Johnston-Peck, AC, Dietze, EM, Wrasman, CJ, Hoffman, AS, Abild-Pedersen, F, Bare, SR, Plessow, PN & Cargnello, M 2019, ‘Catalyst deactivation via decomposition into single atoms and the role of metal loading’, Nature Catalysis, vol. 2, no. 9, pp. 748-755, https://www-nature-com.ezproxy.library.uq.edu.au/articles/s41929-019-0328-1.


Greim, H 2019, ‘Diesel engine emissions: are they no longer tolerable?’ Archives of Toxicology, vol. 93, pp. 2483–2490, https://doi-org.ezproxy.library.uq.edu.au/10.1007/s00204-019-02531-5.

How you can contribute to clean air 2020, viewed 19 January 2021, Brisbane City Council, Brisbane, https://www.brisbane.qld.gov.au/clean-and-green/natural-environment-and-water/air-quality/types-of-pollution.

Kahlon, A & Tang, T, 2021, 7.1: Catalytic Converters, LibreTexts, viewed 4 February 2021, https://chem.libretexts.org/Bookshelves/Physical_and_Theoretical_Chemistry_Textbook_Maps/Supplemental_Modules_(Physical_and_Theoretical_Chemistry)/Kinetics/07%3A_Case_Studies-_Kinetics/7.01%3A_Catalytic_Converters.

Kristensen, LJ 2015,’ Quantification of atmospheric lead emissions from 70 years of leaded petrol consumption in Australia’, Atmospheric Environment, vol. 111, pp 195-291, https://www-sciencedirect-com.ezproxy.library.uq.edu.au/science/article/pii/S1352231015300157.

Landrigan, P 2002, ‘The worldwide problem of lead in petrol’, Bulletin of the World Health Organization, vol. 80, no. 10, p. 768, https://www.who.int/bulletin/archives/80(10)768.pdf?ua=1.

Schäfer, J & Puchelt, H, ‘Platinum-Group-Metals (PGM) Emitted from Automobile Catalytic Converters and Their Distribution in Roadside Soils’, Journal of Geochemical Exploration, vol. 4, no. 1, pp. 307–14, https://doi.org/10.1016/S0375-6742(98)00040-5.

Schäfer, J, Eckhardt, J, Detlef, B, Zsolt, A & Stüben, D 1999, ‘Time-dependent increase of traffic-emitted platinum-group elements (PGE) in different environmental compartments’, Environmental Science & Technology, vol. 33, no. 18, pp. 3166–3170, https://pubs-acs-org.ezproxy.library.uq.edu.au/doi/abs/10.1021/es990033i.

The Chemistry of Petrol & The Tetraethyl Lead Story 2016, viewed 4 February 2021, Compound Interest, Cambridge, https://www.compoundchem.com/2016/05/17/petrol/.

Upcoming Euro 7 emission regulations to drive Europe’s zero-emission mobility goal, 2021, Association for Emission Control by Catalyst, Belgium, viewed 4 February 2021, https://dieselinformation.aecc.eu/upcoming-euro-7-emission-regulations-to-drive-europes-zero-emission-mobility-goal/#:~:text=The%20new%20Euro%207%20standards,vehicles%20during%20their%20daily%20use.&text=For%20instance%2C%20petrol%20cars%20are,are%20allowed%20from%20diesel%20vehicles.

What is AdBlue/DEF – The chemistry?, n.d., viewed 19 January 2021, Ad Blue Dispensing, Wiltshire, http://www.adbluedispensing.co.uk/adblue-def-guide/.

What Really is AdBlue?, n.d., viewed 19 January 2021, Ad Blue Dispensing, Wiltshire, http://www.adbluedispensing.co.uk/what-really-is-adblue/

Zhong, L, Li, J, Yan, W, Tu, X, Huang, W & Zhang, X, ‘Platinum-group and other traffic-related heavy metal contamination in road sediment’, Journal of soils and sediments, vol. 12, no. 6, pp.942–951, https://doi-org.ezproxy.library.uq.edu.au/10.1007/s11368-012-0527-8.

Legislation
Fuel Quality Standards (Automotive Diesel) Determination 2019 (Cwth)