High fire danger warning
By Lee-Anne Ford
They said: Adrenal fatigue. Chronic stress. Thyroid imbalance.
My body, a tired machine—sputtering, misfiring, failing.
A cup of ginseng tea, an adaptogen capsule,
A list of herbal tonics to rebuild what was lost.
Rest, recover, reset.
Except I did, and still—
The exhaustion gnawed at my bones,
My brain fogged like morning mist
That never burned away.
They said: Take time off, breathe, relax.
I did. I sat in silence, in stillness, in sun.
Yet the light burned, the air scratched,
And the world remained too loud.
I rattled off dates like a script—
Lines I knew but had never rehearsed.
29 June. He died.
10 July. We buried him.
10 August. Ashes returned to earth.
17 August. My Sammy, gone.
She listened.
Then asked the question that shattered the script.
Are you autistic?
And in that moment,
Every misdiagnosis fell away.
Not just tired. Not just stressed.
A brain running on overdrive
For too many years,
Masking, stretching,
Until the system collapsed.
Is that why Reiki attunements failed?
That autistic heart resisting?
Is that where the burnout started?
Yet Reiki treatments fired healing—
How could it be wrong?
Is it rooted in attachment issues?
From birth to now? Anxious, avoidant.
Autonomic system in disarray.
Does autism mean herbs work differently?
Are different herbs needed for autism?
So many questions. What’s MTHFR?
And still—autistic burnout.
A broken nervous system.
A burnt-out nervous system.
From a burnt-out autistic brain.
The shock and heartbreak.
Skill regression. More than depression.
Neurological disablement.
Lifelong skills, lost.
Where am I? How do I heal?
When does this end?
Take heart, dear heart.
Inner child and old.
Look to your music, to Thirsty Merc.
“She’s the kind of grind that I don’t really mind…
Stand up, little love, I’m about to blow my cover.”
Want the whole Anthology? It’s here.
The Auld Skald's Fudgel 